!!!!!!! (retroactive)

I know professional writers are often asked to give advice to aspiring writers, and what the professionals seem to say is that if you want to be a writer, you have to write. A lot. Every day. Even when you don't necessarily think you have anything to say. Just write anyway. Schedule it into your day and buckle-the-fuck down and as the sage Greek god Nike once shouted from atop Mt. Olympus, Just Do It!

So here I am. Just doin' it. This is not going to be pretty. I have no particular topic on which I am unusually inspired to produce. It's just stream-of-consciousness going on here, so don't expect much. You should maybe get yourself a nice cocktail and a comfy chair and make up a drinking game to play as you read. Drink every time she begins a sentence with "And". Drink every time there's an incomplete sentence. Dangling modifiers--drink! Drink at every exclamation point!!!!!!!!

So just sitting here staring at a largely blank screen page is what I'm doing. Waiting for that inspiration to come. I have cookies in the oven right now, so at least it smells nice as I'm writing. That sounded a bit crass. Let me rephrase. My kitchen is fragrant with almonds and lemon as I type. There we go. Better.

This quarantine situation is challenging (said Captain Obvious).

All the things that typically are my jam (I will address why a 53 year old woman should never use that phrase at a later time, but just go with it for now) are currently unavailable. I'd like to go to Italy. That's clearly not happening. I'd like to just travel ANYWHERE. Nope, not that either. I would also like to go do some classroom presentations and tours at the museum where I docent. But I cannot, as it is currently closed for the foreseeable future. Hang out at the local coffee shop, write and drink cappuccino? No, no and no. Perhaps go to a fun restaurant? Perhaps no. A drink with friends? Nein.

Ok, you should be quite a few drinks in by now! (Drink!)

Subject change.

Have you ever played the game "This or That"? You can play it anywhere with anyone at any time. We started a rousing game of it at a dinner party last month (remember when we used to be able to have dinner parties?) and it was a HOOT, as anyone from any generation older than mine might say. You just present two options. Someone chooses which they prefer  and then they get to make up two options to present to the next person.

For example: beer or wine? chocolate or vanilla? text or phone call?

I will warn you that if you play this at a fondue party where the wine is flowing and everyone is really comfortable with one another this game can radically change direction really quickly and get painfully awkward. I mean, that's what I hear.

Anyway. Next topic, please. Right?

What do you call it when you're reading a really great book and you simultaneously want to get to the end because it's just so compelling that you cannot stop but also you absolutely do not want the book to end because it's just so entrancing. Is there a word for that? There should be. Let's all work on it. We have time. We can do this! We are all in this (alone) together! Please send your suggestions for this very particular state-of-being to my email. I will announce a winner at some point. There may be a prize that will in all likelihood not be worthy of the very tiny amount of effort you exerted trying to win the prize. But still. Prizes are fun.

Let's talk about chicks, man.  'Cause it's almost Easter and you know what that means-- Peeps. Marshmallow concoctions vaguely shaped like baby chickens in varying pastel hues. I mean, if that doesn't respectfully contribute to the joyful celebration of the death of a major religious figure I don't know what would.

Moving on. Because blasphemy! (Drink!)

Wind or Snow? Cookies or candy? Barefoot or flip-flops? Lin-Manuel or Andrew Lloyd?

What are the odds that the two most genius-y modern-day writers in musical theater would both be known by their first AND middle names? Seems highly unlikely. I don't really understand how odds are determined, but I'd be interested in finding out the actual numbers on that one.

Ok I'm going to stop at this point. I've been writing and writing and while I'm amusing myself (I actually made myself laugh out loud at one point) and I'm having fun, I'm not actually inspiring myself to anything greater, which was supposed to be the purpose.

But who knows. Maybe I'll re-read this and find some little gem that catalyzes my creativity.

Peeps or fondue?