Welcome to my second installment of Random Observations in the Midst of a Pandemic.
For your reading pleasure, here are a few more of my arbitrary impressions, listed in order by neither chronological occurrence nor relevance. It's all random. As indicated in the title.
Please, please, for the love of god (literally, I guess), if you are my neighbor and you happen to be a youth minister and it's Sunday and you are giving a sermon, don't make me listen to it. I feel confident there's a volume button somewhere on your computer or in the livestream program that would enable both YOU giving your sermon without shouting it and ME not having to listen to it as I try to enjoy the sunshine in my backyard. Thank you. God bless.
On the day that the quarantine is called off, there is going to be a horrendous sourdough starter genocide, the likes of which we have never seen. (credit to Dave)
Back off, buddy. Just back off. Six feet. I appreciate it. Thanks, man.
The "mute" button on your Zoom screen works GREAT if your husband is going to walk through the house singing during the meeting. Find it. Use it. Also, nobody, and I mean NOBODY, wants to see your husband wandering shirtless in the background. Shut that shit down.
Has the meat shortage hit yet? Dave says there's plenty of everything at our local Bel Air. Great job, everyone, not doing the TP thing with meat. The learning curve is happening! We can do this!
Trump (sorry to bring him up) said in February that we had "only fifteen cases, and those fifteen cases will soon go down to zero!" When a reporter queried him on that a few days ago and pointed out that there are now over a million cases, his response was, and I'm not joking here, "Well they will eventually go down to zero." First of all, how does that man manage to function at all he's such a scissorbill (there are a startlingly large number of synonyms for idiot). Secondly, no, no they won't. The cases will likely not ever go down to zero. Every day that man stuns me with his ever-increasing idiocy.
My parents have a heated pool. I did not know that until two weeks ago. I mean, I knew they had a pool. I'm not a jughead (still having fun with that online thesaurus!) I just didn't know they had the capacity to heat it. How did I not know that? Perhaps because they have ONLY HEATED IT ONCE in the entire decades of having a pool. I think the bigger question might be, WTH? (the H instead of the F out of respect for my lovely parents, to whom that was directed). I'm kidding Mom and Dad. Sort of.
Are boardgames making a comeback because of the quarantine? (Ha! I can hear my kids laughing from here--because they're certainly NOT making a comeback in this house!) My brother ordered the game Clue, which I loved as a kid. Other good choices, if in fact boardgames are making a comeback, might be Parcheesi, Go to the Head of the Class, Sorry! and of course The Uncle Wiggily Game (that one's for you, Dad).
I'm uncertain how I feel about the flyovers for the healthcare workers. I'm 100% certain they deserve every ounce of our gratitude and appreciation. They deserve the nightly 7pm cheers out everyone's windows. They do deserve the flyovers, no question. I'm just thinking that maybe, perhaps, they might appreciate more PPE, and they might appreciate people social distancing and quarantining as recommended to keep them safer. They might appreciate the money it's taking for those flyovers being put to use helping to get adequate testing in place so that they can go home to their families and not have to isolate themselves from the people they love. Just a thought.
Making the bed every day makes me feel like I've started the day with an accomplishment. Low bar. I know.
I saw a tweet (uugghh, did I just type that?) the other day from a man who has taken to incorporating "in these uncertain times" into his parental nagging because it makes him sound simultaneously sympathetic and serious. So it comes out like this: "In these uncertain times, please put the bread away when you're done making a sandwich." THIS. IS. GREAT. Try it. "In these uncertain times, would you please turn the lights off when you leave the room." It's fantastic and works with everything.
I saw the footage of the armed crazies that stormed the Michigan statehouse to demand their "freedom". First of all, if the message they wanted everyone to get was that they would like the restrictions lessened, they missed the mark because all anyone saw was their AK47's, their camouflage attire, and their nazi/confederate paraphanelia. Intended message neither conveyed nor received. Also, Michigan, you need to actually put a law into place that makes it illegal for people to carry guns into your statehouse. That one was on you.
I've just turned on my JBL speaker to drown out the sermon coming from behind the back fence. I'm playing my music at a very respectful low level, but damn if I don't want to blast some Tom Petty over that direction. It did not occur to me to put "you had to listen to your neighbor's sermon" when I made my Quarantine Bingo card.
I'm listening to "Under Pressure" with Freddie Mercury and David Bowie. I love this song. It's quite appropriate to these times. To any times. We are all in this together. We need to care not just for ourselves, but for everyone. Some of the lyrics from the song:
Can't we give ourselves one more chance?
Why can't we give love that one more chance?
And love dares you to care for
The people on the edge of the night
And love dares you to change our way of
Caring about ourselves
This is ourselves
Under pressure
Gonna end there cause now I'm crying damn it. Not sad. Just love the idea that pressure can, if we let it, allow us to become better people, to care more, to see what we've been missing. We can do that.
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