I Got to Watch My Daughter Row Today

NOTE: This is being posted roughly a month after I actually got to watch Olivia row.

I got to watch my daughter row.

It's fun to watch her row. She takes it very seriously and not at all seriously. At the same time. It makes me smile to see her do this. Mostly because it makes her smile when she's doing it.

I think it's her approach to life.

Olivia is just plain and simple one of the happiest people I know. She is effervescent and optimistic. And also driven and pragmatic. She's a girl who drags herself out of bed at 3:45am to go to crew practice, actually pencils in a nap on her daily calendar, and giddily face-times me and Dave when she has successfully cooked herself a new dinner recipe.

She can simultaneously be overwhelmingly challenged by something and completely enthralled with it.

And that's her idea of fun. Thus, the crew team.

The girl had never rowed a boat in her life when she got to college. And early mornings were NOT in her repetoire. Yet when she got an email saying the crew team was looking for new members, she responded. She joined. She got up early. She rowed.

She made an amazing group of friends. Somehow an eighteen year old young woman with no crew experience took over the team! You know that person at a party, the one who everyone wants to sit at their table? Olivia was the girl everyone wanted in their boat. And it's not hard to understand why. She showed up every single day. She rowed as hard as she possibly could. She encouraged all of her teammates. She participated fully, throwing herself without abandon into every aspect of being a teammate.

I think the best story Olivia has told us about her time on crew (and there have been MANY stories) is the one when she's on an ERG machine toward the end of this last season. The coach has surprised the women's team with a 2K ERG piece, which means each teammate gets onto her own rowing machine and rows as hard as she can for 2000 meters (as measured on the electronic display on the machine). They don't all row at once, as there aren't enough machines, so half of them row and then they get off and the other half rows. When you're not on the machine you're cheering on the rowers who are. So Olivia is on her machine, and she's got a goal. It's been the same goal since day one of being on this team--she wants to row a 2K in under eight minutes. This is a thing. Every single young woman on this team wants to achieve this goal. It's a badge of honor if you do it. Not many do it. It's hard.

So Olivia is rowing, and the display is telling her that she's on pace to row very close to an eight minute 2K. She starts pacing herself. The machine is reading that she's rowing exactly on pace for an eight minute 2K. She's rowing as hard as she can, but she somehow manages to row just a little bit harder. Her teammates are starting to gather around her machine. They've noticed what's going on. They're yelling at her. For her. Cheering her on. Encouraging her. She doesn't think she can row any harder, but if she does she just might come in under eight minutes. To the screams of her teammates, she finishes the 2K in 7:59. She wants to throw up, but she starts crying instead. Because she's wanted to do this for so long. And she finally did it.

Olivia is not a competitive person. Except with herself. If a team goal is not achieved, but she's done her part and has given her very best, she won't stress over it. You can only do what you can do. But if she really thinks she can do something, she will try and try and try until she's exhausted herself of every ounce of effort. She doesn't need to win because it's winning. She simply needs to know she's given it her all.

So back to the topic of this post. Dave and I went to San Diego to watch the Chapman crew team row in the Crew Classic. This is a huge event. It's considered the opening of the season. There are teams who fly across the country to row at the Crew Classic. So Chapman, tiny little college that it is, is rowing against schools like University of Washington (have you read Boys in the Boat?), Cal, UCLA, Harvard, Michigan and Boston College--schools with powerhouse rowing programs.

The Chapman women's team knows they don't really stand much of a chance against a lot of these teams. But they're excited anyway. They're happy to be there, and they're happy to be there together.

And I got to watch my daughter row a 2K race in an eight-boat. I got to see her approach a race she knew they weren't going to win with the same attitude she would approach a race in which they thought they might take first. I saw my daughter, who doesn't love the racing aspect of crew, give it her all--and I mean her ALL!-- for a little over eight minutes. When the Chapman boat crossed the finish line, it didn't seem to matter much to her what place they came in. It mattered to her that the eight girls all worked together to try their hardest. She took the rowing seriously. She took her effort seriously. She took the race not at all seriously. I love that she can do that.

Watching Olivia row reminds me that even though it's daunting and really hard, it can also be a lot of fun to push yourself beyond what you think your limits are. As long as you're doing it because it makes you happy.