Going to the Bathroom with Your Phone in Your Hand

So yeah, this whole cancer diagnosis is life-changing. In a million different ways. Here's one of the more amusing changes I've made since getting the news.

When you're expecting an important phone call, you want to be available when it comes through.

When you've just been diagnosed at fifty with cancer, every single phone call is an important one that you don't want to miss. Radiology is calling to schedule your biopsy. Your doctor is calling to discuss your diagnosis. Oncology is calling to discuss your chemo appointment. They're all important. And if you miss a call, good luck trying to call back. It's a one-way system (at least in Kaiser). They can get hold of you any time they want. You canNOT get hold of them without winding your way through an operator who connects you to a department which demands you enter your medical number, birthdate and social security number into your phone before it will connect you with a secretary who will see if the person you want to speak with is available. It takes a herculean effort to successfully return a call.

So here's my solution as of late: If I am expecting a call, I simply walk around with two phones in my hand. Everywhere I go. Even to the bathroom.

I know. Sorry about that visual. And I do always wash my hands so no worries about using the phone after me.

On the plus side, I never have to search for the phone! I knew there had to be an upside to all this shit!