So, the New York City subway system.
That title's making a little more sense to you already, isn't it?
A bit of qualifying background on me, since I am about to embark on a critique of the NYC subway system. I grew up in the SF Bay Area and have ridden BART hundreds of times. I've never gotten off at the wrong stop or not known which train to take. I've ridden the Paris Metro system, and while I have a rudimentary knowledge of French I am far from conversational, and yet I never got on the wrong train or was stymied by where to get off. I've ridden the London Underground on more than one vacation. Not to be repetitive, but again, easy to figure out how to get where you're going and you would have to try pretty hard to find yourself on the wrong train.
So, with that background information, I feel confident saying that the New York City subway system is a tangled mess of an imbroglio (I'm learning new words--join me!).
In our family, Steven and I are the designated navigators if we are on vacation. We are both great at reading maps and schedules and figuring out routes to destinations. On this particular trip, however, it was just me and Dave. We are two smart people with good life skills. That doesn't matter, however, if you're riding the NYC subway on a weekend. The only thing that matters in that particular situation is whether or not you are a frequent NYC subway traveler.
We are not. Nor are the literally tens of thousands of people who are tourists in New York City every year. Let the chaos and confusion begin!
Okay people who are in charge of the subway system, first off you need to post maps of the system ALL OVER the stations. One map located in the vestibule where you buy your ticket does not help because it's not accessible once you've gone through the turnstile onto the platform. And also, what if, hypothetically, a person who is not familiar with any of this goes back out the turnstile to talk to the agent in the booth and then cannot get back onto the platform because the ticket now thinks it's been used? I'm not saying this happened. I'm not saying this didn't happen. I'm just wondering for a friend...
Okay, so maps. Lots of maps, please.
Also, it would be super great if the schedules for the trains were organized. And by organized, I mean readable. There should be some recognizable structure to train schedules. People who can walk and talk at the same time (but who don't live in NYC and frequent the subway) ought to be able to look at a train timetable and understand how to read it.
And for the love of god, if you're going to have a different schedule for the weekends you need to post a SEPARATE weekend map and timetable. Or at the very least put an asterisk or some notation next to trains that do run on the weekends. Because when you don't do that, otherwise intelligent people take the time to come up with the best possible route to Yankee Stadium from 81st Street only to find that the carefully mapped route bears no resemblance to what is possible that day.
Same thing for local vs. express trains. There needs to be some visual cue that indicates which one is running at any particular time. Even the New Yorkers we encountered had no idea if they were on a local or an express.
Let's move on to signage. Most important, there needs to be some. If I am standing on the platform, there should be a sign, somewhere I can see, that indicates which train will come through next. And how far away that train is. And the sign CANNOT just randomly say 10 minutes and never change. The number on the sign should actually represent, in real time, how far away the next train is from the platform.
Ideally, electronic signs posted along the platform would flash which train is coming next and at what time it is due into the station. The point of destination would also be helpful. Because trains go two directions, and if you can't orient yourself because you're underground, there's no way to tell which way the train is going unless you know either its origin or destination.
This is not complicated stuff. This is "Running an Underground Transportation System 101."
I think that's all I've got. Maybe one more thing: if you're going to shut down entire stations on the weekend, again, there needs to be some indicator on the schedule so that people do not walk on crutches all the way to a station only to find it's locked up tight. This did not happen to me, but it could have!
The title of the post, in case you're wondering, comes from our family's vacation about five years ago. We were in a Paris Metro station, and while Steven and I were off buying the tickets Dave and Olivia were on the deck of the station, people watching. They heard some noise and looked over to one of the little kiosks that sells magazines and newspapers. The proprietor was screaming at a college age kid. Perhaps the young man had tried to steal something from the shop--they weren't sure. But the owner yelled, top volume and in slightly accented English, "I will fucking smash your fucking head!"
Which perfectly sums up how Dave and I felt about whomever is currently in charge of the NYC subway system.
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