I come up with all sorts of ideas. Some are ways to fix things. Some are ways to start things. Some are just invention ideas. Most of them are decent ideas. Perhaps not great, sometimes not necessary, and almost always they are never actually going to happen.
But this idea... this is a good one. Maybe even a great one. It's necessary, and it should happen.
Say you get a call one day from your doctor, and he tells you that you have cancer. BOOM!
That's what that feels like. Your whole world explodes inside your head in one tiny second.
You have a million questions but you can't ask any of them because you are mentally paralyzed and feel like you might throw up in between your heaving sobs. Before you know it you've hung up the phone. The conversation that just changed your whole perspective has ended and you are left, head in your hands, heart thumping wildly, legs too weak to get up, eyes red, cheeks wet, mind dazed and confused.
Here's where my idea comes in.
The next thing that should happen is that your phone rings again, and it should be someone from your medical plan, a designated representative assigned to you, calling to talk to you, to answer your questions regarding your diagnosis--all the ones that you now have but you can't reach your doctor because doctors don't have direct lines anymore and there's no way you're getting through the medical assistant to speak directly with that doctor that just gave you your diagnosis because for your to actually speak directly to your doctor you need a phone appointment and those are now being scheduled two weeks out because doctors are, you know, busy.
No one should ever receive a scary diagnosis and then be left with no one to answer questions or no one to talk to. That second phone call could make all the difference in the world.
Two phone calls means you now know what's going to happen next.
Two phone calls means you now have the phone numbers you need to call in the next few days.
Two phone calls means you now know a general timeline of what's ahead.
Two phone calls means you now know that two days is a good turnaround time for radiology to return your call and you won't need to spend hours on the phone trying to talk to them sooner.
Two phone calls means you now know which doctor is in charge of you.
Two phone calls means you're less likely to start googling anything.
Two phone calls means you now know there's someone to call if you need help.
Two phone calls might make the difference in being able to get to sleep that night.
No matter how great your health plan is, doctors are not readily available to talk exactly when you think you might go crazy out of fear and lack of information. Email is great, but again not when you're insanely scared and need an immediate response.
You need a voice to speak with, and ideally you need a body, someone to speak to in person so you can slow down and think and listen and respond in real time. You need someone who knows your case, who knows the system and can help you navigate it. You need a personal advocate.
That's my (great) idea. Please feel free to run with it, Kaiser.
Monday, May 8, 2017
Sunday, March 19, 2017
Am I a Cheater or a Genius? (subtitle: Jefferson v. Hamilton)
I hate even asking that question. But there are arguments both ways.
I have taken to attempting some of the puzzles in the back of the New York Times Sunday Magazine each week. Most of them I don't even give a second glance because I can just tell by looking that it ain't gonna happen (every puzzle involving numbers). However there is one puzzle, innocuously title "Spelling Bee", that draws me in every week.
It's a circle. Inside the circle, arranged like the numbers on a clock, are six letters. Inside that circle of letters is a hexagon shape with just one letter inside of it. The idea is to use any of the letters in the outer ring (as many times as you need) as well as the letter in the center to spell as many words as you can. So to recap: You MUST use the letter in the center in each word; the letters in the outer ring are there for you to use, or not use, as many or as few times as you'd like in each word. Oh, and each word has to be at least five letters in length.
So try it, although since I have no idea how to put letters in a circle you're going to have to either make due with my representation below or draw this out yourself if you want the actual graphic.
E
Y M I
X R
T
You can (kind of?) see the idea here. Let me help you some more. You could use the word "timer", because it uses the "M" in the middle, as well as any other letters on the outside. You could use the word "trimmer" for the same reason. You could not use the word "texter" because it does not use the "M". Get it? Go ahead. Give it a go. You get one point for each word (proper names and hyphenated words are not allowed), and three points for a word that uses all seven letters of the puzzle.
Now be honest. How long did you spend trying to find words before you came back to reading the rest of this? It's kind of addicting isn't it?
I've been trying these puzzles each week for months now. Just in case you aren't frustrated enough, they put a rating system for each puzzle. The puzzle above is rated as follows:
7=good; 12=excellent; 17=genius.
I made it to "good" all by myself. But then...
I had a few words which I wasn't quite sure were actual words, so I went to my computer and clicked on the dictionary program on my Mac. The first word I wanted to look up was "mirer"--as in someone who gets mired down. It turns out that though "mirer" is not a word, "mirex" is, in fact a word. Not that I knew that. But I found out because as I entered in each letter of my word in question, word possibilities started popping up in a list.
M
I
R (mirage, mirror, mirth...)
E (mire, mirex)
And there you go. Mirer not a word. Mirex a word. That I did not know until just then.
I wrote it down and gave myself a point. Am I a cheater?
And if you're being nice enough to give me the benefit of the doubt at this point because I came across this technique accidentally, how about if, now that I knew I could do this, I started just typing in the letters from the puzzle to see what would come up?
Yes, I did that.
And I got more points. (trimeter, rimier and mitey are all legitimate words and now I even know what they mean!)
I am now, according to the rating system for this puzzle, a genius. A GENIUS I say!
But am I? I consulted the instructions for clarity. The directions simply ask how many words you can spell using the given letters. They do not specifically allow using any kind of aids in this quest. They don't specifically prohibit it, either.
So the bigger question, I guess, is how to interpret the instructions, as a strict constructionist (you can only do what is specifically articulated in the document) or a loose constructionist (it is not prohibited if the document does not specifically prohibit it)? Thomas Jefferson or Alexander Hamilton?
I am, apparently (and to no one who knows me would this come as a surprise) a loose constructionist, and as such I am, at least for today, declaring myself a genius :)
I have taken to attempting some of the puzzles in the back of the New York Times Sunday Magazine each week. Most of them I don't even give a second glance because I can just tell by looking that it ain't gonna happen (every puzzle involving numbers). However there is one puzzle, innocuously title "Spelling Bee", that draws me in every week.
It's a circle. Inside the circle, arranged like the numbers on a clock, are six letters. Inside that circle of letters is a hexagon shape with just one letter inside of it. The idea is to use any of the letters in the outer ring (as many times as you need) as well as the letter in the center to spell as many words as you can. So to recap: You MUST use the letter in the center in each word; the letters in the outer ring are there for you to use, or not use, as many or as few times as you'd like in each word. Oh, and each word has to be at least five letters in length.
So try it, although since I have no idea how to put letters in a circle you're going to have to either make due with my representation below or draw this out yourself if you want the actual graphic.
E
Y M I
X R
T
You can (kind of?) see the idea here. Let me help you some more. You could use the word "timer", because it uses the "M" in the middle, as well as any other letters on the outside. You could use the word "trimmer" for the same reason. You could not use the word "texter" because it does not use the "M". Get it? Go ahead. Give it a go. You get one point for each word (proper names and hyphenated words are not allowed), and three points for a word that uses all seven letters of the puzzle.
Now be honest. How long did you spend trying to find words before you came back to reading the rest of this? It's kind of addicting isn't it?
I've been trying these puzzles each week for months now. Just in case you aren't frustrated enough, they put a rating system for each puzzle. The puzzle above is rated as follows:
7=good; 12=excellent; 17=genius.
I made it to "good" all by myself. But then...
I had a few words which I wasn't quite sure were actual words, so I went to my computer and clicked on the dictionary program on my Mac. The first word I wanted to look up was "mirer"--as in someone who gets mired down. It turns out that though "mirer" is not a word, "mirex" is, in fact a word. Not that I knew that. But I found out because as I entered in each letter of my word in question, word possibilities started popping up in a list.
M
I
R (mirage, mirror, mirth...)
E (mire, mirex)
And there you go. Mirer not a word. Mirex a word. That I did not know until just then.
I wrote it down and gave myself a point. Am I a cheater?
And if you're being nice enough to give me the benefit of the doubt at this point because I came across this technique accidentally, how about if, now that I knew I could do this, I started just typing in the letters from the puzzle to see what would come up?
Yes, I did that.
And I got more points. (trimeter, rimier and mitey are all legitimate words and now I even know what they mean!)
I am now, according to the rating system for this puzzle, a genius. A GENIUS I say!
But am I? I consulted the instructions for clarity. The directions simply ask how many words you can spell using the given letters. They do not specifically allow using any kind of aids in this quest. They don't specifically prohibit it, either.
So the bigger question, I guess, is how to interpret the instructions, as a strict constructionist (you can only do what is specifically articulated in the document) or a loose constructionist (it is not prohibited if the document does not specifically prohibit it)? Thomas Jefferson or Alexander Hamilton?
I am, apparently (and to no one who knows me would this come as a surprise) a loose constructionist, and as such I am, at least for today, declaring myself a genius :)
Monday, March 6, 2017
General Jumbliness and Discombobulation
Is anyone else out there just plain exasperated?
This White House is leaving me breathless with its constant stream of conspiracy theories, illegal maneuvers, flat-out lies and baseless accusations.
Not that I want him to do what he promised to do (I did not vote for him), but wasn't his big draw with his crowd the fact that, according to him, he and ONLY HE could get done what people wanted done? He was going to repeal Obamacare on DAY 1 (it turns out he had, and I quote, "no idea how complicated healthcare is!" Seriously?). He's going to build a wall and Mexico is going to pay for it (no indication as of yet that Mexico will embrace that idea, so if there's a wall then US taxpayers will foot that bill). Jobs. Jobs. Jobs. Trump was going to bring back manufacturing plants and coal plants and thousands upon thousands of jobs on DAY 1. We do seem well on our way to backing out of trade agreements. Perhaps that will bring back some jobs. Not thousands upon thousands. And I'm not sure whether Trump ever addressed what is likely to happen to the price of consumer goods once those trade agreements are broken. The devil's in the details, and Trump provided preciously few of those in his speeches. He's more of a grand, sweeping statements kind of guy. ISIS--I believe Trump declared that he would convene his generals and they would have to submit a plan to defeat ISIS within 30 days. Anyone heard of anything happening in that arena? Anything at all? Do we have that plan yet? And crime. Didn't he say that he would clean up crime in the inner cities on DAY 1? And shouldn't the VA be fixed by now?
DAY 1 was never going to be what Trump said it was going to be. That should have been people's first clue that perhaps nothing else was going to go as planned.
And things have definitely not gone as anticipated.
We've had a categorically unsuccessful special forces raid in which one soldier was killed, though Trump deemed the operation a huge success from start to finish (how he could lose a man and still declare 100% success on the mission is beyond me, and seems disrespectful to all military families). He's had one senior official resign in disgrace over his lies/Russia connections, and one has had to recuse himself from all things Russia at this point due to his own lies to Congress during his confirmation hearings. He's accused three million people of voting illegally, President Obama of wiretapping Trump Tower, President Obama of orchestrating White House leaks, and the Democrats of obstructing his every whim. I'm not sure if he's noticed, but the Democrats do not have the numbers currently to obstruct anything. Literally. Whatever's not happening is either on Trump himself or on the Republicans.
You don't have a full cabinet? Have your cabinet nominees submitted the required forms for confirmation hearings? No? Then that's on them. There's a process in place for a reason.
Not a lot has gotten done so far. Thankfully. Because what has made it through is thoroughly alarming. Pollution regulations have been rolled back. By Executive Order. The EPA is on lockdown and their website being scrubbed of environmental date regarding climate change. Financial regulations have been rolled back. By Executive Order. There have now been TWO Muslim bans put forward. By Executive Order.
History has also been rewritten by Secretary of Education Betsy DeVos. Did you know that Historically Black Colleges and Universities began because black students were not satisfied with the level of education they were receiving? Take that in for a moment. That's Ms. DeVos's version of the genesis of HBCU's.
So exasperated. Yes. I have no idea what's going on with my government. I'm not really sure my government knows what's going on with my government. Yesterday Senator Rand Paul was pushing his copy machine all over Capitol Hill in search of the new ACA bill. He was not allowed to see it. It's under lock and key, apparently. Another fact to take in: a sitting US Senator is being actively prohibited form seeing the healthcare reform bill being put forward by his own party. WTF?
It feels good to get this all out. It feels a little jumbled, but I think that's because that's how I'm feeling these days. This is not only disconcerting, it's discombobulating.
Here's how I see this in a nutshell:
Trump and his cohorts are raging drunk with power.
At some point soon, I would like the adults in the room to announce their presence, take people's car keys, and bring this raucous kegger back under control.
This White House is leaving me breathless with its constant stream of conspiracy theories, illegal maneuvers, flat-out lies and baseless accusations.
Not that I want him to do what he promised to do (I did not vote for him), but wasn't his big draw with his crowd the fact that, according to him, he and ONLY HE could get done what people wanted done? He was going to repeal Obamacare on DAY 1 (it turns out he had, and I quote, "no idea how complicated healthcare is!" Seriously?). He's going to build a wall and Mexico is going to pay for it (no indication as of yet that Mexico will embrace that idea, so if there's a wall then US taxpayers will foot that bill). Jobs. Jobs. Jobs. Trump was going to bring back manufacturing plants and coal plants and thousands upon thousands of jobs on DAY 1. We do seem well on our way to backing out of trade agreements. Perhaps that will bring back some jobs. Not thousands upon thousands. And I'm not sure whether Trump ever addressed what is likely to happen to the price of consumer goods once those trade agreements are broken. The devil's in the details, and Trump provided preciously few of those in his speeches. He's more of a grand, sweeping statements kind of guy. ISIS--I believe Trump declared that he would convene his generals and they would have to submit a plan to defeat ISIS within 30 days. Anyone heard of anything happening in that arena? Anything at all? Do we have that plan yet? And crime. Didn't he say that he would clean up crime in the inner cities on DAY 1? And shouldn't the VA be fixed by now?
DAY 1 was never going to be what Trump said it was going to be. That should have been people's first clue that perhaps nothing else was going to go as planned.
And things have definitely not gone as anticipated.
We've had a categorically unsuccessful special forces raid in which one soldier was killed, though Trump deemed the operation a huge success from start to finish (how he could lose a man and still declare 100% success on the mission is beyond me, and seems disrespectful to all military families). He's had one senior official resign in disgrace over his lies/Russia connections, and one has had to recuse himself from all things Russia at this point due to his own lies to Congress during his confirmation hearings. He's accused three million people of voting illegally, President Obama of wiretapping Trump Tower, President Obama of orchestrating White House leaks, and the Democrats of obstructing his every whim. I'm not sure if he's noticed, but the Democrats do not have the numbers currently to obstruct anything. Literally. Whatever's not happening is either on Trump himself or on the Republicans.
You don't have a full cabinet? Have your cabinet nominees submitted the required forms for confirmation hearings? No? Then that's on them. There's a process in place for a reason.
Not a lot has gotten done so far. Thankfully. Because what has made it through is thoroughly alarming. Pollution regulations have been rolled back. By Executive Order. The EPA is on lockdown and their website being scrubbed of environmental date regarding climate change. Financial regulations have been rolled back. By Executive Order. There have now been TWO Muslim bans put forward. By Executive Order.
History has also been rewritten by Secretary of Education Betsy DeVos. Did you know that Historically Black Colleges and Universities began because black students were not satisfied with the level of education they were receiving? Take that in for a moment. That's Ms. DeVos's version of the genesis of HBCU's.
So exasperated. Yes. I have no idea what's going on with my government. I'm not really sure my government knows what's going on with my government. Yesterday Senator Rand Paul was pushing his copy machine all over Capitol Hill in search of the new ACA bill. He was not allowed to see it. It's under lock and key, apparently. Another fact to take in: a sitting US Senator is being actively prohibited form seeing the healthcare reform bill being put forward by his own party. WTF?
It feels good to get this all out. It feels a little jumbled, but I think that's because that's how I'm feeling these days. This is not only disconcerting, it's discombobulating.
Here's how I see this in a nutshell:
Trump and his cohorts are raging drunk with power.
At some point soon, I would like the adults in the room to announce their presence, take people's car keys, and bring this raucous kegger back under control.
Friday, January 27, 2017
The Breaking Point
What is the breaking point, the tipping point, for good, decent Republicans to stand up and declare that Trump is not a rational, safe leader for our great nation and start the process of removing him from office?
I didn't love George W. Bush. I disagreed with many of his positions and an even greater number of his actions. But I never once doubted that he was a capable leader, making informed choices. I never once doubted that he was acting in what he thought was the truly best interests of the United States.
I have yet to see evidence that our new President is a capable leader making informed choices. And since he will not release his interests and tax returns I have no idea if he is acting in the best interests of the United States or himself.
Donald Trump tweeted this morning that he is looking forward to seeing the "results" from a voter fraud app that he seems certain is going to prove his assertion that three to five million illegal aliens voted fraudulently. The app developer has already proclaimed that he has the evidence to prove these allegations, but in multiple interviews he simultaneously says he hasn't put all the data together yet to see the results. Yet he is certain of the outcome.
That's a big, giant red flag--when you're certain of your results without the actual data to back them up. It loudly screams that you're manipulating your data to your intended outcome instead of allowing the data to determine the outcome.
So back to my initial question. When this guy releases his "findings", if he won't release the data to back it up (or if the data is proven to be false or falsely interpreted), will Trump cling to the findings anyway (if they support his allegations of voter fraud), and will this be a tipping point for lawmakers? When the President of the United States of America boldly declares that proven lies are in fact truth (alternate facts as his campaign is fond of saying), will that be enough cause for our elected representatives on both sides of the aisle to say enough is enough?
We need leaders who are unafraid to speak truth to power. Right now, President Trump holds all the power. That is not how our government is designed.
Assert your Constitutionally-established power, Senators and Representatives. Check his power.
Don't wait for the balance to tip so far that it can't right itself.
I didn't love George W. Bush. I disagreed with many of his positions and an even greater number of his actions. But I never once doubted that he was a capable leader, making informed choices. I never once doubted that he was acting in what he thought was the truly best interests of the United States.
I have yet to see evidence that our new President is a capable leader making informed choices. And since he will not release his interests and tax returns I have no idea if he is acting in the best interests of the United States or himself.
Donald Trump tweeted this morning that he is looking forward to seeing the "results" from a voter fraud app that he seems certain is going to prove his assertion that three to five million illegal aliens voted fraudulently. The app developer has already proclaimed that he has the evidence to prove these allegations, but in multiple interviews he simultaneously says he hasn't put all the data together yet to see the results. Yet he is certain of the outcome.
That's a big, giant red flag--when you're certain of your results without the actual data to back them up. It loudly screams that you're manipulating your data to your intended outcome instead of allowing the data to determine the outcome.
So back to my initial question. When this guy releases his "findings", if he won't release the data to back it up (or if the data is proven to be false or falsely interpreted), will Trump cling to the findings anyway (if they support his allegations of voter fraud), and will this be a tipping point for lawmakers? When the President of the United States of America boldly declares that proven lies are in fact truth (alternate facts as his campaign is fond of saying), will that be enough cause for our elected representatives on both sides of the aisle to say enough is enough?
We need leaders who are unafraid to speak truth to power. Right now, President Trump holds all the power. That is not how our government is designed.
Assert your Constitutionally-established power, Senators and Representatives. Check his power.
Don't wait for the balance to tip so far that it can't right itself.
Deep Breathing
I'm going to get very good at yoga over the next four years. I'm going to power my way through physical therapy so that I can run again.
Deep breathing. Calm, relaxing mantras. Miles of quiet footfalls. Whatever it takes to reduce the stress that our newly elected leader is generating on what feels like an hourly basis.
What the hell is going on? What have we, as a nation, done? And what are we, as a nation, going to do to stop this madness?
We currently have a leader who does not do anything without a camera present. Every action, big and small, is touted as the best thing that's ever been done. Which to me, seems to diminish the impact of actual great things that might be done. And it causes me to ponder, Is the President able to distinguish the magnitudes of the various actions he is taking, or in his mind are they all the biggest and best? Is he paying attention to not just what he's signing but also to what the ramifications will be? Or are they all just photo opps?
After the election, the left was criticized for "taking Trump literally but not seriously," and the people who voted for him opined that they take him "seriously but not literally."
It turns out, as evidenced by the first five days in office, that everyone should have taken him both literally and seriously. He IS going to stop Muslim refugees from coming into the country and he IS going to actually build a wall on the US/Mexican border. He says he IS going to break NAFTA. He IS repealing healthcare without having an alternative plan in place. He has scrubbed the White House website of all references to climate change and has ordered the EPA to remove all references to climate change from its website. Let me repeat that. He has ordered the ENVIRONMENTAL PROTECTION AGENCY to remove links to research and findings regarding climate change. He is reinstating CIA black sites, which is a first step toward reinstating torture. He has muzzled the NIH, the Department of the Interior, and the EPA, prohibiting them from communicating with the press without first clearing it with the White House.
This is just the first five days.
And all this while he is still doubling down, publicly and contentiously and without any evidence that he is willing to provide to the press or public, on his belief that he lost the popular vote due to outlandish and widespread illegal voter fraud.
He's overly concerned with photos showing his inaugural turnout was not as good as Obama's first inauguration. Seriously overly concerned. It's taking up his time and thought process.
Breathe. Breathe again.
And in between breathing we all need to get up and do something to counteract this madness. Not just once. Again and again and again.
And again.
As if our nation depends on it, and depends on us.
Because it does.
Deep breathing. Calm, relaxing mantras. Miles of quiet footfalls. Whatever it takes to reduce the stress that our newly elected leader is generating on what feels like an hourly basis.
What the hell is going on? What have we, as a nation, done? And what are we, as a nation, going to do to stop this madness?
We currently have a leader who does not do anything without a camera present. Every action, big and small, is touted as the best thing that's ever been done. Which to me, seems to diminish the impact of actual great things that might be done. And it causes me to ponder, Is the President able to distinguish the magnitudes of the various actions he is taking, or in his mind are they all the biggest and best? Is he paying attention to not just what he's signing but also to what the ramifications will be? Or are they all just photo opps?
After the election, the left was criticized for "taking Trump literally but not seriously," and the people who voted for him opined that they take him "seriously but not literally."
It turns out, as evidenced by the first five days in office, that everyone should have taken him both literally and seriously. He IS going to stop Muslim refugees from coming into the country and he IS going to actually build a wall on the US/Mexican border. He says he IS going to break NAFTA. He IS repealing healthcare without having an alternative plan in place. He has scrubbed the White House website of all references to climate change and has ordered the EPA to remove all references to climate change from its website. Let me repeat that. He has ordered the ENVIRONMENTAL PROTECTION AGENCY to remove links to research and findings regarding climate change. He is reinstating CIA black sites, which is a first step toward reinstating torture. He has muzzled the NIH, the Department of the Interior, and the EPA, prohibiting them from communicating with the press without first clearing it with the White House.
This is just the first five days.
And all this while he is still doubling down, publicly and contentiously and without any evidence that he is willing to provide to the press or public, on his belief that he lost the popular vote due to outlandish and widespread illegal voter fraud.
He's overly concerned with photos showing his inaugural turnout was not as good as Obama's first inauguration. Seriously overly concerned. It's taking up his time and thought process.
Breathe. Breathe again.
And in between breathing we all need to get up and do something to counteract this madness. Not just once. Again and again and again.
And again.
As if our nation depends on it, and depends on us.
Because it does.
Sunday, October 30, 2016
Pardon Me, We Can All Hear You (subtitle: Cut That Shit Out Now!)
Hey there--
You probably can't hear me right now, but I'm going to keep talking because I can definitely hear you. You're on your cell phone. You're talking to your friend who wants you to come to her house today. I couldn't quite catch why she wants you to come to her house, but she's worried about you--I did catch that. You told her not to worry about you. You're on your way to another friend's house and you're stopped here, in the Barnes and Noble, because it's raining. It's raining hard, and you're not comfortable driving in the rain, so you just pulled over here in Gilroy--you think you're in Gilroy but you don't actually sound that sure--and ducked into this bookstore to wait out the storm. Lucky thing that you're only going to Monterey, which is not so far away at this point. You're an early-riser on Sundays. You're an early-riser on Sundays. You're an early-riser on Sundays. Yes, you did mention that three times during the conversation. So it's just so fortunate that you were on the road early and got as far as you did before the rain let loose, because as you already said but felt the need to say again you don't really like driving when it's raining.
I could go on. And on.
This conversation, spoken not in the hushed whisper of someone on the phone in a completely inappropriate place but rather in the more-than-audible range of someone unaware that they are on the phone in a completely inappropriate place, lasted over ten minutes. I tried moving to various locations within the store to escape it, but the woman was talking so loudly that there really just wasn't anywhere to go. Have you been in a Barnes and Noble? They're big! That's how loudly she was talking!
I left the store before the conversation ended. I did not say anything to the woman. But in my mind, this is what I wanted to say, ever-so-politely:
"Hey there-- I'm not sure if you realize but I think people can hear both sides of your conversation. I wasn't sure if you wanted it to be private or not, so just wanted to mention it to you in case there was personal information you didn't want others hearing. Sorry to bother you. Have a great day."
And just for ducks, let me tell you what I wanted to say, ever-so-not-politely:
"Hey--cut that shit out. Either go outside to talk on your phone or talk more softly. None of us want or need to hear your conversation. There aren't that many bookstores left and I don't get to them as often as I would like and you're ruining my otherwise peaceful bookstore experience. Cut that shit out NOW!"
And truly, either way, I would have said it in my most sincere voice.
But I didn't. Because even though I knew I wasn't doing anything wrong by hearing her conversation (no one could have avoided it), I just wasn't sure how my attempt at courtesy would be taken--because it was unclear to me whether or not she had any concept of courtesy.
So I chickened out.
Would you have said something? Would it have been okay to have said something? Would it have been rude on my part? Would I have been hailed a hero by the other customers?
So many questions about this, and about our individual behavior within a society. It seems like we should all be able to address one another politely if we have an issue. And if addressed politely, we should be able to respond politely.
And yet... there is enough evidence showing that's not how it's going to go down that issues go unaddressed. Behaviors go unchecked. Fear wins.
How long before it's going to be completely acceptable for people to carry on full-volume conversations on their cell phones at the gym, in the market, in the library, at a table in a lovely restaurant? I'm not saying it doesn't go on now. It does--all the time. But people notice it. It's not widely accepted. It's not the norm.
But norms change.
Where is the line between my rights and the next person's rights? And even if we disagree on that line, can we still have a civil conversation about it when one or both of us might walk away from the discussion on the losing end, so to speak?
Talk amongst yourselves... politely. It's a conversation worth having.
You probably can't hear me right now, but I'm going to keep talking because I can definitely hear you. You're on your cell phone. You're talking to your friend who wants you to come to her house today. I couldn't quite catch why she wants you to come to her house, but she's worried about you--I did catch that. You told her not to worry about you. You're on your way to another friend's house and you're stopped here, in the Barnes and Noble, because it's raining. It's raining hard, and you're not comfortable driving in the rain, so you just pulled over here in Gilroy--you think you're in Gilroy but you don't actually sound that sure--and ducked into this bookstore to wait out the storm. Lucky thing that you're only going to Monterey, which is not so far away at this point. You're an early-riser on Sundays. You're an early-riser on Sundays. You're an early-riser on Sundays. Yes, you did mention that three times during the conversation. So it's just so fortunate that you were on the road early and got as far as you did before the rain let loose, because as you already said but felt the need to say again you don't really like driving when it's raining.
I could go on. And on.
This conversation, spoken not in the hushed whisper of someone on the phone in a completely inappropriate place but rather in the more-than-audible range of someone unaware that they are on the phone in a completely inappropriate place, lasted over ten minutes. I tried moving to various locations within the store to escape it, but the woman was talking so loudly that there really just wasn't anywhere to go. Have you been in a Barnes and Noble? They're big! That's how loudly she was talking!
I left the store before the conversation ended. I did not say anything to the woman. But in my mind, this is what I wanted to say, ever-so-politely:
"Hey there-- I'm not sure if you realize but I think people can hear both sides of your conversation. I wasn't sure if you wanted it to be private or not, so just wanted to mention it to you in case there was personal information you didn't want others hearing. Sorry to bother you. Have a great day."
And just for ducks, let me tell you what I wanted to say, ever-so-not-politely:
"Hey--cut that shit out. Either go outside to talk on your phone or talk more softly. None of us want or need to hear your conversation. There aren't that many bookstores left and I don't get to them as often as I would like and you're ruining my otherwise peaceful bookstore experience. Cut that shit out NOW!"
And truly, either way, I would have said it in my most sincere voice.
But I didn't. Because even though I knew I wasn't doing anything wrong by hearing her conversation (no one could have avoided it), I just wasn't sure how my attempt at courtesy would be taken--because it was unclear to me whether or not she had any concept of courtesy.
So I chickened out.
Would you have said something? Would it have been okay to have said something? Would it have been rude on my part? Would I have been hailed a hero by the other customers?
So many questions about this, and about our individual behavior within a society. It seems like we should all be able to address one another politely if we have an issue. And if addressed politely, we should be able to respond politely.
And yet... there is enough evidence showing that's not how it's going to go down that issues go unaddressed. Behaviors go unchecked. Fear wins.
How long before it's going to be completely acceptable for people to carry on full-volume conversations on their cell phones at the gym, in the market, in the library, at a table in a lovely restaurant? I'm not saying it doesn't go on now. It does--all the time. But people notice it. It's not widely accepted. It's not the norm.
But norms change.
Where is the line between my rights and the next person's rights? And even if we disagree on that line, can we still have a civil conversation about it when one or both of us might walk away from the discussion on the losing end, so to speak?
Talk amongst yourselves... politely. It's a conversation worth having.
Friday, October 21, 2016
So Let Me Get This Straight...
So let me get this straight...
There are, apparently, undecided voters.
Just to note: today is October 21, 2016. Eighteen days out from the election.
Rumor has it there are, still, undecided voters.
I am baffled. Flummoxed. Completely bewildered.
How, possibly, can anyone be undecided at this point?
If people are undecided as to whether or not they are actually going to cast a vote, I guess I would have more understanding for that than for people who are trying to decide between Trump and Clinton.
Never, I don't think, has there been a deeper chasm between two candidates than this year. I cannot grasp that there might be people out there who just might be swayed from one to the other between now and November 8.
I'm not going to try to hide my preference: I am unashamedly, unabashedly going to proudly vote for Hillary Clinton.
And while I will not pretend to comprehend how so many people can be supporting Donald Trump, what I truly cannot fathom is how so many people can be wavering between voting for Trump or Clinton. There is LITERALLY nothing they have in common. NOTHING!
So if you are an undecided voter in this election, please help me out. I need to know. What might possibly sway you one way or the other?
If you're leaning towards Hillary, would one more woman coming forward to say she's been sexually harassed by Donald do it? Would Donald finding yet another group of people to collectively discriminate against help you make the choice?
If you're leaning towards Donald, would yet another batch of deleted emails leaked by the Russians help you make your decision? Would more questions regarding the ethics of the Clinton Foundation solidify your choice?
Truly, this has been an election cycle that has not brought out the best in anyone.
When this is all over and we at last have a democratically elected leader, and after we have had the peaceful transition of power that should be a reminder to us all of just how fortunate we are to live in this nation, I hope that we all can unite together. On something. On anything.
But before that can happen, people are going to have to make a choice. A serious choice. This is not a reality show. This is our nation's future.
Don't be undecided. Make an informed choice guided by facts (actual facts, not made-up facts) and knowledge and abilities.
Cast your vote for who you think would best represent you, your family, your interests and your future as this nation moves forward domestically and on the world stage.
Take your responsibility to participate in this process seriously. Because apparently not everyone does. And while I think apocalyptic talk of our democracy crashing down is a bit hyperbolic, I do think it is possible that it could slowly erode, every vote not cast weakening its foundation.
Read. Listen. Learn. Choose.
Your right to do all of those things depends upon you exercising your right to vote.
There are, apparently, undecided voters.
Just to note: today is October 21, 2016. Eighteen days out from the election.
Rumor has it there are, still, undecided voters.
I am baffled. Flummoxed. Completely bewildered.
How, possibly, can anyone be undecided at this point?
If people are undecided as to whether or not they are actually going to cast a vote, I guess I would have more understanding for that than for people who are trying to decide between Trump and Clinton.
Never, I don't think, has there been a deeper chasm between two candidates than this year. I cannot grasp that there might be people out there who just might be swayed from one to the other between now and November 8.
I'm not going to try to hide my preference: I am unashamedly, unabashedly going to proudly vote for Hillary Clinton.
And while I will not pretend to comprehend how so many people can be supporting Donald Trump, what I truly cannot fathom is how so many people can be wavering between voting for Trump or Clinton. There is LITERALLY nothing they have in common. NOTHING!
So if you are an undecided voter in this election, please help me out. I need to know. What might possibly sway you one way or the other?
If you're leaning towards Hillary, would one more woman coming forward to say she's been sexually harassed by Donald do it? Would Donald finding yet another group of people to collectively discriminate against help you make the choice?
If you're leaning towards Donald, would yet another batch of deleted emails leaked by the Russians help you make your decision? Would more questions regarding the ethics of the Clinton Foundation solidify your choice?
Truly, this has been an election cycle that has not brought out the best in anyone.
When this is all over and we at last have a democratically elected leader, and after we have had the peaceful transition of power that should be a reminder to us all of just how fortunate we are to live in this nation, I hope that we all can unite together. On something. On anything.
But before that can happen, people are going to have to make a choice. A serious choice. This is not a reality show. This is our nation's future.
Don't be undecided. Make an informed choice guided by facts (actual facts, not made-up facts) and knowledge and abilities.
Cast your vote for who you think would best represent you, your family, your interests and your future as this nation moves forward domestically and on the world stage.
Take your responsibility to participate in this process seriously. Because apparently not everyone does. And while I think apocalyptic talk of our democracy crashing down is a bit hyperbolic, I do think it is possible that it could slowly erode, every vote not cast weakening its foundation.
Read. Listen. Learn. Choose.
Your right to do all of those things depends upon you exercising your right to vote.
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