Day 3: A Change in Surroundings

The adventure continues!

Regarding our no hot water shower issue: our hosts (who have been truly wonderful) texted us last night and offered up two possible solutions. We could either stay at their alternate BnB property, a  two-bedroom home half a mile away, or if we wanted to continue in the art gallery room we could use the alternate property just to get a hot shower in the morning.  You wouldn't think that would be any kind of decision, but we decided before we committed to the new place we kind of wanted to check it out.  Because there are airplane wings and fuselages in the backyard of the alternate property when you look at it on Google Maps.  Just wanted to know what we might be getting ourselves into, based on what we had already gotten ourselves into.  So here's how the day started:

Got up before seven am because some sort of construction began on the vacant lot behind our room at 6:30am.  And when I say the construction began behind our room, I mean RIGHT behind our room.  Like thirty feet behind our wall. Right next to the port-a-potty that people lined up to use throughout the day.  Not kidding.

Dave went and got coffee from the non-douchebag barristas down the street, and then we popped on our charming bikes and rode about half a mile to the new property.

Decision made.  New digs!

old digs--mind you we only had the first door room

new digs!

Beautiful little house on a quiet street with doors that lock properly.  A coffee machine!  Hot water!  A refrigerator!  An actual couch on which to sit! Five actual airplanes AND a real school bus in the backyard! (The only thing preventing us from actually exploring said planes and bus is our knowledge that the Arizona Diamondbacks are named that for a reason... we don't want to learn everything the hard way.)

our backyard: football turf, airplanes and a bus for good measure

We walked back to the old place, packed up, and Ubered to our new paradise.

I cannot overstate how magnificent my husband has been through all of this.  First of all, he packed some Starbucks Via instant coffee packs before we left home because he knew we weren't going to have a stove to heat water, so he was willing to make coffee using hot water out of the tap in the bathroom.  While that clearly did not work out as intended (since we ended up with no hot water at all), the fact that he was willing to do that, to me, speaks volumes about his confidence in my planning abilities  being game to try new things.

Additionally, he has not complained at all about our charming, extremely crappy bikes upon which we are completely dependent for transportation.  He has been willing to ride in the 100 degree heat on a bike that looks like it was built for Frodo.  He's just not a complainer.  If there's a problem, he'll try to solve it (on one of our rides he pulled into a tire shop and asked for a crescent wrench and adjusted his seat so that now the bike looks like it was built at least for a slightly taller Frodo). He has kept on smiling through it all.

It was about 105 degrees yesterday so we decided to hit a movie in the afternoon.  Went to see "Straight Outta Compton".  Amazing movie.  Riveting form beginning to end.  Lots to talk about.  More to think about.  Cannot recommend it highly enough to everyone.

Game time! Back on the bikes and down to Chase Field for batting practice.  I am not making this up: we arrived at the stadium literally as they were opening the gates. We walk in.  We start to watch batting practice.  Brandon Belt (referred to by me as "my Brandon") comes to the plate, swings, and hits a ball DIRECTLY into Dave's bare hands--and we were standing in the bleachers!  I kid you not! It was incredible.  Quite the exciting start to the evening.

Dave gave me the ball from my Brandon

Our seats for this one were in the second deck--they came with wait service! Mind you, these were still very cheap tickets (because we're watching the Diamondbacks--total attendance at the game was 15,000), but it was fun having someone come around every half hour or so and ask if you'd like anything.

The Giants played great, they got a ton of hits AND runs, and they won the game.  Funny story that started the game: Joe Panik was second in the lineup, and it's the first inning, so he's only the second batter in the entire game. Nobody's worked very hard yet.  Nobody's tired or confused.  Strike one.  Ball one.  Ball two.  Strike two.  Ball three.  Missing pitch--and by that I mean the pitcher throws the ball, it should have been called ball four and Panik would walk to first, but the umpire just neglects to call the pitch.  So Panik sets up for the next pitch.  Dave and I are looking at each other like "what the?"  How do four umpires all miss the pitch?  Finally, after about fifteen or twenty seconds, Bochy walks out.  It has to go to New York for replay! We were laughing so hard-- just had never seen this happen.  So New York of course calls it ball four and the game continues, but for the next couple of pitches, as soon as the pitch was thrown you'd hear people call the pitches loud enough for the umpires to hear.

As a side note, the family in front of us, consisting of a dad, a mom, and two daughters, was a study in how not to attend a baseball game.  The adults brought an iPad with them and watched the US Open tennis match for the entire game, and all four family members were on their phones for better than half the game.  Hey--if you want to take a picture here or there to document your fun, I'm all for it.  You need to send a quick text? Have at it.  But if you're going to go to a sporting event (or any event for that matter), why not at least make an attempt to enjoy where you are and take in the experience? I feel like we might be turning into a society that is not able to be content with where we are, but rather always trying to find out what's going on where we aren't.  Put the electronics down, people.  Look up.  Take it in!

So that was day three.  It was a fun day! I think what I am enjoying most about this little adventure is the people.  We have now stayed in two different neighborhoods (although they are somewhat close together, they are in vastly different areas), biked throughout the city during all times of the day and evening, and talked to a nice variety of Phoenicians.  Every single person has been friendly (even when we're in our Giants gear).  When we're biking down the street, no matter the neighborhood, if you smile at people and say hello they smile and say hello back.  Nobody looks menacing or even slightly scary when they're smiling at you and nodding their head to return a greeting.

One more day... one day more (that was for you, Olivia-- sing it with me!).

Greetings from Phoenix--wish you were here :)

Tales Continued: Day 2

Day 2: got up at 6am to go in search of a cup of coffee for Dave. Spent a half-hour just waking up at a leisurely pace. Dave grabbed the first shower. Now, Dave typically doesn't take long showers at home anyway (DROUGHT!), but I noticed that this one was particularly short. He emerged from the bathroom. I asked how the water pressure was. His reply: "I'm going to let you experience the shower for yourself. There's good news and bad news. But I'm letting you find out for yourself." 

As it turns out, the water pressure is fine (the good news). The water temperature is not fine (the bad news). It wasn't icy, but it was not what I would call warm. I also took a particularly short shower. 

How, I ask you, does a room not have hot water? No refrigerator? Ok, I get it. And you told us that up front. The no chairs thing was a little unexpected. But easily fixable by bringing chairs in from outside. But no hot water? NO HOT WATER? Come on, man. That's not right. This is 2015.  Hot water should not be an issue.

wifi on plastic adirondack-y chairs:yes.   hot water:no.

Breakfast, I'm happy to say, was a bright spot. There is a little local coffee shop less than a block from us that gets rave reviews. Our host recommended it, although she qualified her recommendation with, "but just to warn you, the baristas there are douchebags. I mean, they are serious assholes." Okay then. 

We did not actually find that to be the case. We had great coffee and food, the young woman behind the counter chatted with us the entire time, taught us how to make cold-brew coffee, and recommended dinner restaurants for us. She was utterly charming. I don't know what the opposite of douchebag would be, but she was it. It was a lovely way to start the day. 

Spent a bit of time cycling around Phoenix after breakfast. It's a bit of a ghost-town right now as it's Labor Day weekend and, so the story goes, if you live in Phoenix and you get the chance to get out of 105 degree Phoenix for a long weekend then ya do! So kinda empty--very easy to bike around. Although we don't really know where we are going, and we did find some very let's call them interesting neighborhoods. 

Made our way (again, on our charming bikes) to Chase Field just before noon and stood in line with all the other Giants fans waiting to get in.  I think there were some D-Backs fans as well. 

What a fantastic park! It's a very surreal thing to watch a baseball game in an enclosed stadium.  It's quite subdued. Perhaps everyone is just using their inside voices--I don't really know what it was--but the entire game had a somewhat hushed feel to it.  I'm not complaining. It was just very different from any baseball game I have ever been to before. 

The Diamondbacks are not doing well this season, so consequently we got seats on the first base line in the first row for the price you'd pay for the worst possible seats against the worst possible team at AT&T Park. We were sitting directly behind the ball guy (I learned in a couple of mid-inning conversations with him that you have to try out for that job--they actually make you field balls!) and could see into the Giants' bullpen. Very cool. 

The people around us were extremely friendly and pretty darn amusing. There was this great young couple sitting next to us.  When Buster Posey came up to bat the first time and his picture came up on the Jumbotron, she whipped out her phone to take a picture of the picture and announced, "That's my future husband," to which her boyfriend replied quite quickly and confidently, "Yeah, that works for me. I'm just gonna keep on dating you until you marry him, and that way I get to be friends with him and probably friends with you, too." 

And then there was the group of people to our right who, when the concession guy selling popcorn came around and yelled, "Popcorn--butter corn and kettle corn," started having a (very loud) conversation about what "ghetto corn" was. Yep. Super loud. Apparently she had misheard the guy and thought he said ghetto corn instead of kettle corn. It was not a conversation you wanted to continue. I was uncomfortable sitting in the next section. Not that anyone actually said anything offensive. But you just knew someone was going to at some point if the conversation went on. Luckily, they got distracted by the baseball game going on a couple rows away. 

We lost the game, sadly. Not unexpectedly, mind you. We have been losing quite a lot lately.We did get to see the return of Joe Panik, which was fantastic. He hit a double and got the Giants on the board with their only run of the game. Unfortunately that was about all the Giants action there was in nine innings. 

After a little downtime back at our humble home-away-from-home, we headed out to find some dinner (on our charming bikes, with mine still clanging away--that fender is stubbornly clinging to life). We had asked several locals we had met for recommendations, and though we headed out intending to check them out, we ended up stumbling upon a place not on our list. And then we had the best meal ever. Kid you not. My BEST. MEAL. EVER. 

Here's how you get the best meal ever: you ask your waitress what she likes best and then you order it. All of it. 

It's going to be hard for me to convince you that a cheeseburger and sautéed veggies made me swoon. I don't care if you don't believe me. They made me swoon. The burger had homemade onion marmalade and jalapeño cheddar sauce and this fresh-baked brioche bun. And more stuff, but all the right stuff in all the right proportions perfectly cooked. The bun held up, the burger stayed together, and all was right with the world. The vegetables were beans and baby squash and some other bean-looking thing sautéed up in a house-made ginger soy concoction that I would bathe in if allowed. It was that good. 

And then even though I would have sworn the meal couldn't get any better, our wonderful server Zoe started talking dessert. Decadent choices. We stuck with the plan and ordered what Zoe told us to order, which was sticky toffee pudding. Words will not do it justice. It was a date cake swimming in caramel syrup with vanilla gelato on top. See-- I told you. You're sitting there thinking to yourself, "That doesn't actually sound amazing or anything. I mean, date cake? That doesn't sound good at all quite frankly." And you're likely imagining the caramel gook you get on Baskin Robbins sundaes. And perhaps mediocre vanilla ice-cream.  No matter what you think, our dessert was 1000% better than you imagine it. Maybe a million percent better. As previously mentioned, words aren't going to cut it so I'm going to stop trying. If you're ever in Phoenix, go to the Phoenix Public Market. Ask for Zoe. We left with a list of Zoe's (and the cook/wait staff's--she asked around for us) top ten favorite Phoenix local joints. AND she packed up a piece of their famous chocolate cake for us--her treat!--because she wanted to be sure we got to try it before we left town.  BEST. MEAL. EVER. for so many reasons :)

Made it back. Ready for Day 3. Could use a hot shower. Crossing our fingers on that one... 

random picture of random airplane wing in front of our bed
we are using it to hang stuff on
that is probably not what it is intended for

Tales from a Couple of Air BnB Travelers

Retirement (It's An) Adventure #1

Great flight--got the emergency exit row with only two seats so Dave could stretch out!

Uber car rolled up within five minutes of us pinging it and brought us, after a Google-induced slight detour, to our Air BnB room. 

Before we had settled in and started noticing our situation, I realized I had left my phone in the Uber car. I'm going to give major props to Uber--there is a very simple procedure to figure out who your driver was and get in touch directly with her. Half an hour later I had my phone back! Thank you, Uber! And thank you driver Heather for being so accommodating. 

So back to our digs. They perhaps exaggerated a bit in the description of it. Here's the shot they included in their Air BnB description:

Keeping in mind this entire room is about 15 feet by 20 feet (and that includes the bathroom), here's the view from our side window (which they mysteriously did not include in the Air BnB description):

And then again, you get what you pay for. We are not paying a lot. 

If you don't hear from us within a day of our expected arrival home, maybe call the police and have them check out our air BnB. It's a bit rough. 

It's in the "arts" neighborhood, which is hipster code for slums. 

A bit dicey. But hey, it's an adventure! 

The two bicycles that the owners (who own a bike shop for god's sake) left for us to use--charming but also a bit dicey. If the front fender on mine makes it the whole three days I'll be shocked. It is a pleasure riding around a city announcing your impending arrival with a clattering ringing banging fender-about-to-fall-off noise. I think people love it. I know I do. 

Other fun details: our front door has two locks, one of which does not work as it appears to have been busted when perhaps someone shouldered through the door in the middle of the night looking for drugs (ok, some of that is how I imagine the lock broke, but still, it is broken in a rather startling manner--see photo). 

Also, no chairs. Well, ok two plastic Adirondack-y chairs outside the unit--because who doesn't enjoy sitting outside enjoying the Phoenix 105 degree days? We brought the plastic chairs in so we could enjoy the air conditioning. 

We met two of the neighbors. Both very nice, welcoming and friendly. The young man next door works at Chase Field and gave us a dining suggestion for the ballpark. Nice kid. Covered in tattoos, but they all kind of are right now. The man two doors down from him told us all about the neighborhood and invited us in to see his art collection (remember--we are staying in an active art gallery). Eclectic stuff. Kinda neat. I think he was perhaps three or four margaritas into his afternoon. 

We took our host's recommendation and went to dinner at a very local joint down the street (we rode our charming bikes there--twice! I put the bike lock key in the bike lock before we journeyed out and it had shaken loose and fallen out by the time we arrived at the diner, so we had to double back and look for the key as we retraced our steps. We found it--literally on our doorstep). Worth both trips, however. The Welcome Diner was great food, friendly people, and a relaxing, fun atmosphere. Had a fried green tomato BLT with chipotle sauce. Fantastic! Dave had a PBB--peanut butter burger. I'm trying not to make a face as I type that. It wasn't as bad as it sounds. Apparently it's very popular. Not my thing, but I did at least take a bite. Cause it's an adventure we're on, people! You have to try new things (without making faces). 

So ended our first day. The bed was fine. The neighborhood was quiet. And nobody busted through our door looking for anything. 

Just Because You Can Doesn't Mean You Should

There's been more violence.
Your mind must be reeling.  The Middle-East? Baltimore? Ferguson? NYC? Nigeria? The Ukraine?
There's a lot of violence going on in the world.
I'm talking about Texas.  More specifically Garland, Texas.
You've never heard of it, have you?
And you likely never would have, except that one woman decided to fan the flames.  No, she did more than fan the flames.  She threw gasoline on the fire and THEN she fanned the flames.

A woman with too much time and money on her hands decided to have a contest.  For cartoonists.  To draw Mohammed.

Seriously.

Yes, yes, I know we live in the United States and we all have First Amendment rights and freedom of speech.  I realize she had the right to hold this contest.  But should she have?

Just because you CAN call people names, should you?
Just because you CAN contribute unlimited amounts of money to political campaigns (yeah, I'm talking to you Roberts Court), should you?
Just because you CAN hold a protest outside of a military funeral, should you?

Life is all about limits.  Part of life is finding out what your limits are and where those limits come from--are they self-imposed? can you overcome them? are they coming from people around you? from institutions around you? These are all important questions to answer in pursuit of figuring out limits.

We are all born with limits.  I, for one, am never going to run a sub-seven(okay, eight, okay, nine, okay in all likelihood ten) minute mile.  It's just not going to happen no matter how hard I train.  But I know this. So while I still run and I still try hard, I am not trying to achieve the unattainable.  I respect the limit.  If I didn't, I would likely end up injured.

Society imposes limits upon us.  We call these laws.  When people break laws, when they ignore the limits, they go to jail.  Or they get hurt.  Or worse yet, other people get hurt.

That's what happens, often times, when people do not respect limits.  Bad things happen.

The difficult part of all this is when we come to moral and ethical limits.  Because clearly everyone's morals and ethics vary to some degree.  But not nearly as much as people think.

For the most part, people know what is good and bad.  What is right and wrong.  What should be done and what should be left undone.

I understand that there are times when boundaries must be pushed, when laws must be broken.  The Civil Rights movement was definitely an example of a time when lines had to be crossed, laws broken, and boundaries pushed so that the boundaries could actually be moved.  There was an end-game to that struggle.  There was a purpose, a noble one that would lift people up and create better lives.

I do not see that end-game with this situation in Texas.  It appears to me that her purpose with this contest was to incite violence so that she could then blame the ENTIRE Muslim community for jihad.

Recently I read about an interview that Fox News' (and I use that term loosely) Sean Hannity did with an imam.  He blamed radical terrorism (pretty much all of it) on Islam the religion, and stated that the situation has to be solved within Islam.  Here is the Imam's response:

“Mr. Hannity, life is sacred in Islam as well as Christianity and Judaism, and it is the collective responsibility of Muslims, Christians and Jews to stand for the sanctity of life regardless of where that life belongs to.”

That's an end-game we should all try to achieve together.

My California Senate Candidacy

Please consider this my formal announcement that I will be running for the Senate seat that is being vacated by Barbara Boxer in 2016.

If you have a campaign slogan suggestion for me, I am open to ideas.  In fact, I am open to everything.  I am open to opinions.  I am open to changing my opinion.  I am open to not even having an opinion.

My game plan for my campaign at this point is to be perfectly honest.  That's it.  So here it is:

I am running for the California Senate seat because if I win, I will have blow-your-mind levels of healthcare for me and my family for the rest of my life.  That's a pretty big perk.  It's worth the hassle of running in my opinion.

Here's how this is going to work, and if I may say so I think it's rather brilliant.  I'm being very candid about my motivation for running.  I want great healthcare.  Congress gets great healthcare.  So I want to be in Congress.  I realize this isn't the most inspirational reason to run for office.  I guess I could say that I'm running to help America move forward.  That sounds so much better.  But that's what everyone who runs says.  And then they get there and they really don't appear to be doing much to help America move forward.  Honestly, there's not even much lateral movement at this point.  It's all going backward.  Or downhill.  Or some direction that is decidedly not forward.  Rather than tell you I'm going to do something and then disappoint you by not doing it, I'm just going to tell you what I know for sure.  I know for sure I want great healthcare.

As far as my stance on important issues, of which there are many, I've decided not to have any.  Stances, that is.  I definitely have issues (but don't we all?).

For instance, ISIS.  They're bad.  I think we can all agree on that.  We should try to defeat them, absolutely.  Should we put troops on the ground?  I'm not really sure.  It might be a good idea.  It might be the only way to get it done.  Or it might be a terrible idea.  We might not have the manpower to directly engage on another front.  I promise to give it serious thought.

Vaccination.  Very relevant issue.  My whole family is vaccinated.  I definitely would vaccinate.  I think it's a great idea.  But if you don't want to vaccinate, tell me why.  I'll listen.  I might even agree with some of your points.  It might not be a good idea to require vaccinating.  Or it might be essential that we require vaccinating.  I'm not quite sure.

Taxes.  We definitely need them to keep the whole government thing going.  Some people pay more because they earn more.  Is that fair?  It might be.  Or it might not be.  Are you conservative? If so, I just want to say that I think it's possibly not right to be taxing rich people more money.  Possibly.  Lower taxes could encourage people to work more and spend more.  Are you liberal?  I just want to add that it seems like the income gap is rising and we might want to look into higher taxes for higher income earners.  Might.  Just an idea.  Not written in stone.

You get the idea.  I'm not taking any definite stands that I might have to uphold (or might choose to reverse) should I be elected.  That just wouldn't be fair to you, the voter. The cardinal sin in politics is breaking your campaign promises.  So I'm not making any.  Except this one: I will only serve one term in government service.  Not because of any stand I am taking on term limits (remember--I'm not taking any stands on anything).  I am only serving one term because that's all that's required to get blow-your-mind levels of healthcare for the rest of my life.  

I think I am in good company with my campaign plan.  I've been watching the current field of Republican candidates jockeying for the 2016 nomination.

If I didn't know better I'd think they broke into my headquarters and stole my game plan.

Thank You Notes and More...

Last night at dinner Steven was telling us about what an amazing time he has had this summer at his internship at the Exporatorium.  He is enjoying not only the work, which is hectic and varied, but also the responsibility that he has been given by the amazing staff at the Teacher Institute.

As I listened to him describe how great the staff has been to him, I interjected with, "You know what you should do?"

And Olivia jumped right in with, "Write a thank-you note?"

Yes!  Yes, that is exactly what he should do!  I was so happy that she knew what I was thinking, and I was pleasantly surprised, I guess, too.  Because  as you parent over the years, you start to wonder if any of what you're sort of throwing out there at your kids is sticking.  And it's hard to tell, sometimes.  A lot of it, I think, gets batted away, or sort of just hangs out there for years until it either settles onto them like a fine layer of dust or it drifts off, never to be thought of again.  It was a really nice feeling to know that not all of it drifts off.

Which got me to thinking.  Now that Steven is about to begin his sophomore year at college and Olivia is a senior in high school, I am fastly running out of time to influence my kids.  I do realize I've had the last eighteen years.  But I'm feeling a bit frenzied right now, and slightly panicked, and more than a little unnerved, at the the idea that my impact regarding daily behavior and  ability to provide necessary guidance will not exist. These kids will be out on their own (mostly), moving forward and making choices based on what they've learned throughout their years growing up.

So in the spirit of being a mom, which means never assuming that your kids know what you're thinking and not just saying it to them once, but repeating it over and over and over, here is a list of what I hope "sticks" to my kids after they leave home:

1. Be grateful.  Be FULL of gratitude for all of the many big and little things in your life.  And share your gratitude.  When someone does something nice for you, say thank-you.  When someone gives you a gift, write a short but sincere thank-you card.  Always.

2. Don't text and drive.  EVER.  Seriously.  EVER.

3. Be helpful.  Look for ways to be helpful.  Ask if you can help.  Hold open a door.  Carry a bag of groceries.  Run an errand for someone.  Make it a habit to offer your help.  It's an easy and great way to not only be of service to someone else but also to make yourself feel good, too.

4. Look people in the eyes when you speak to them.  It's polite.  It shows respect.  It keeps you both engaged in the conversation.

5. When you go out with your friends, or when you're at your grandparents' house, or when you're somewhere fun with fun people, don't just put your phone in your pocket.  Turn it completely off before you put it in your pocket.  Forget about it for a few hours.  Get wrapped up in where you are and who you are with.  Don't worry about where you aren't and who's doing what without you.  You are where you are.  Enjoy it!

6. Clean up after yourself.  It's no one else's job but yours.  Treat it that way.

7.  Be on time.  Just because you have a cell phone and can call when you're running late does not mean you should run late.

8.  Don't talk about people behind their backs.  If someone did you wrong, telling other people about it isn't going to help solve the problem.  Talk to the person.  Explain the situation.  Give them a chance to fix it.  If they're not going to fix it, then find a way to move forward.  But gossip is neither productive nor a solution.

9.  Be sympathetic.  Be kind.  You have no idea what other people are going through.  A kind word or a smile can sometimes mean the world to someone in a way you will never know.

10.  Laugh.  A lot.  Surround yourself with people who can make you laugh out loud at the world, at yourself, at anything and everything.

Now, interestingly, at the end of the conversation at the dinner table that prompted me to write this list, Olivia noted that it's not just she and Steven who will be making transitions in the coming years.  Next fall, Dave and I will be home alone--empty-nesters--for the first time in twenty years .  She started to tell us her thoughts on what she would consider wise counsel.

I believe she started out with, "Be patient with each other."

She's a smart girl.  I'm sure that one will stick!

I'd like to hear the rest of her list :)

On Black Holes and Event Horizons

It's been almost a year since I've written anything here.  Well, I take that back.  It's been almost a year since I actually clicked the "publish" button and sent my thoughts from the draft stage to the public consumption stage.

I don't really know why it's been so long.  I've sat down to write many times.  I've had lots of ideas.  But nothing seems to get finished.  Midway through it feels like I'm distracted, or can't find an ending, or can't quite see the relevance of the topic.  I kind of hit a "What's the point?" moment, and then I end up on Facebook or checking emails.

I couldn't put my finger on why I wasn't, or couldn't, finish any of my thoughts.

It certainly wasn't because I felt like nobody would read them.  Olivia has told me numerous times that she checks my blog regularly to see if there's anything new.  My mom has commented on more than one occasion that it's been a while since I had a blog entry.  Dave has told me that he routinely looks to see if I've added to my posts.

That's almost my entire audience (by my own choice) eagerly anticipating my next move, so no complaints on that end.

So here I am today, April 2, committing myself to push through it.  This blog entry WILL be published today.  I apologize in advance if it seems unfinished, irrelevant, meandering or pointless.  I'm going to press the "publish" button at some point today to see if by doing so I can move forward and start to focus my thoughts again on a regular basis.

Steven's graduation was the topic of my previous post (last May).  That was a long time ago.

Since then, he has gone off to UC Berkeley (Go Bears!) and has had a wildly successful year at school.  The house is different without him.  It's quieter, for the most part due to the lack of the brother/sister wrestling/chasing/screaming events that no longer go on nightly.

Olivia is now a junior with a driver's license.  She has a million places to be and a million friends who want to hang out with her, and now that she's had her license for a year she can shuttle herself and her friends everywhere.  I was the taxi driver for so long that I looked forward to the day when that wouldn't be my primary daily activity.  Careful what you wish for.

Olivia is also starting to think about the college application process (it seems like we literally just did this with Steven…).  We are taking a Spring Break road trip down south to see five schools in the Los Angeles area.  I am excited to see what sparks this journey will ignite for Olivia.  She is a girl who has always worn her heart on her sleeve, and I imagine that actually getting to experience the colleges she has always dreamed of will lead to some exhilarating realizations and enthusiastic conversations that I can't wait to see and be a part of.

I have a Zits cartoon hanging at my desk.  In the first four frames, it shows the parents with their small child, reading to him, making him giggle, tucking him into bed and kissing him goodnight.  In the fifth frame all you can see is the parents surrounded by a swirl of calendar months.  And in the last frame they are looking at their fully grown teenager asleep in bed, and the mom says, "The days are long but the years are short."  The dad replies, "And how."

And how.

So a little over a year away from an empty nest.

I'm not feeling quite as prepared for the changes that are barreling my way at the speed of light.

This is going to seem like a drastic change of topic, but stay with me and I promise there's at least a tangential link.

Yesterday Dave and I were watching this show called "How the Universe Works".  The narrator was describing black holes, and what it would be like if we could actually get to a black hole.  He said that if you were watching something approach a black hole, it would appear to you, the observer, that it would stop on the edge of the black hole (called the Event Horizon).  Even after it had gone in, it would still seem to you, watching from the outside, that it was just on the edge, always in your sight, never moving farther away.  It would seem like time stood still.  And it would stay that way forever to you, the observer.

I'm starting to appreciate black holes.

I realize there is no Event Horizon in life.

I guess really I wouldn't want there to be one, because I can't wait to see those kids keep moving forward, chasing their dreams, failing and succeeding and learning and growing from all that is ahead of them.

I'm sure next year will be a blur.  Senior year for Olivia.  Steven in his first apartment.  Lots to look forward to for these two amazing kids.  They are so eager for what's to come.  They are so unafraid of independence and new adventures and challenges.

I wish I could bottle that enthusiasm and courage.  I would dab a little (maybe a lot) on my wrists every day.