So last night we went to our son's graduation ceremony. And I use the word ceremony somewhat loosely.
I don't want to lessen the impact of what it was for parents and kids--it was the culmination of thirteen years of hard work on the part of the kids, and anywhere between seventeen and eighteen years of even harder work on the part of the parents.
The kids looked magnificent. The boys were in cardinal red caps and gowns, the girls in white. They processed in to "Pomp and Circumstance" beautifully. They sat quietly during speeches. The cheered enthusiastically but respectfully every time anyone uttered the the words "class of 2013" into the microphone. They walked the stage and accepted their diplomas graciously and with dignity. They recessed with giant smiles on their faces.
Their behavior perfectly mirrored the excitement and solemnity of the occasion.
I cannot say the same for the behavior of the audience.
I have never seen anything quite like it. I was not expecting it, and I was not prepared for it.
It was a circus. A carnival-like atmosphere up in the stands.
I guess, in retrospect, it should not have been a huge surprise. To begin with, the ceremony was held in the Sleep Train Arena. That's a professional basketball arena. Cause professional basketball venues lend themselves to dignified behavior.
Since the venue was so big, graduates could invite as many friends and relatives as they wished. Not just parents and siblings, but anyone with any connection to any graduate could pay $7 and attend the event. I'm proud to say that my own nieces and nephews, ranging in age from first grade through ninth grade, were all exceptionally well-behaved. My nephew, who is seven years old, sat attentively through a two hour ceremony, during which he knew the name of ONE graduate. He did not play Nintendo (with the sound ON!), he did not ask for a coke and fries, and he did not converse full-volume with his parents throughout the event. I cannot say the same for the little girl sitting right behind me, who clearly had no interest at all in being there and was not capable of sitting quietly . And clearly she was not expected to sit quietly, as not a single person in her family sat quietly during any part of the ceremony except the part where their relative was announced. For that, they listened to his name, and then proceeded to whoop and holler so loudly and for so long that no one could hear the next three names that were announced. And I'm not kidding with that reference to playing Nintendo with the sound ON during the ceremony.
I have a few suggestions that might bring the seriousness back to the occasion.
First, don't hold it in a basketball arena. There is no intimacy. There is no accountability for bad behavior.
Second, don't open the concession stands during the ceremony. Nachos, fries, and popcorn are great for sporting events. Not so great when people get up in the middle of a Valedictorian's speech to go get a dog and a Coke. I kid you not.
Third, the person in charge needs to tell the audience at the outset that this is a formal ceremony and it should be accorded the proper respect. And then when people do not do so, the speakers need to be stopped, and told to wait for quiet, and the emcee needs to repeat the mantra. Again and again until people stop talking and behaving badly. I realize this would get uncomfortable when the ceremony is stopped for the fifteenth time, and people begin to get tired of the event getting held up. But trust me, that's not nearly as uncomfortable as we were, unable to hear awards being announced, names being called. And being stared down when we politely mention that we cannot hear what's being said.
That all being said, the afternoon was amazing.
Steven walked the stage with his friends, wearing his community service cord, his academic cord, and his IB cord. He accepted his diploma with a smile. And he is off to Berkeley in the fall.
We are so proud of him, and the young man he has become.
And no one can take those accomplishments away from him!
No comments:
Post a Comment