So This Is What It Feels Like to Get In Shape

  This is probably not the best time for me to be writing this entry.

  I am on day three of my new workout routine.  I thought I was in decent shape.  I thought my new workout routine would get me into better shape.  As it turns out, I am not in shape at all.
  "Why, Kim, do you think you are not in shape at all?" you might be asking yourself.  Or perhaps you're more of a realist, and you are saying to yourself, "Well, it took her long enough to figure that out!" I'm not really going to address you realists.

  However, I will answer the first question, and I will do it with brutal honesty and complete humility.  I know I am not in shape at all because I am sitting here writing this blog.  I have been doing my 50 minute workout for two hours now.  I was supposed to do two sets of a circuit (a mix of weight lifting, push-ups, leg lifts, planks, etc...that takes about twenty minutes total) followed by 30 minutes of cardio.  Here's how that panned out:

  I did one set of the circuit.  My heart was racing.  I had to stop for water.  I was dripping sweat.  Slightly out of breath.  I paused to check my email (you know, to catch my breath).  I laid down on the couch because it felt cold against my body.  Closed my eyes for a few minutes (I did NOT fall asleep, thank you very much).  Got back up.  Went out to do circuit number two.

  Oh dear god.  Completed the circuit, but then felt like I was going to throw up I was so tired.  Paused for another glass of water.  Checked my phone, hoping there was some urgent message that needed tending to.  Damn it.  Why do my kids only forget their lunches when I'm in the middle of something fun?  Thought about the 30 minutes of cardio that I was now supposed to do.

  And here I sit.  The mere thought of starting that cardio was enough to make me lie down on my now-sweaty yoga mat and say out loud, to no one but myself, "So this is what it feels like to be out of shape."

  I'm telling you this because you would otherwise have no way of knowing it, but since I typed that last sentence, I have been to the grocery store, made the bed, eaten my lunch, and yes, done some cardio.  Maybe not half an hour of cardio.  Maybe not even quite twenty minutes.  Perhaps as little as ten.  But hey, I did some cardio.  After I did all that other stuff.  And again, it winded me.

  Not fun.  This is not a fun place to be at all.  I am utterly unused to not being able to somewhat remotely accomplish my fitness goals.  I've trained for and run nine half marathons (okay, I trained for eight and ran nine--remind me to blog about that one that I ran without training for sometime--good story).  But anyway, I have been in decent shape for most of my adult life.  But no more.

  I let it go.

  Totally my own fault.  After that last half marathon (in Disneyland!), I said to myself, as I say to myself after every half marathon, "Kim, you should just keep running like you're still training.  You're in great shape.  Don't let it all go."

  And yet, after every single half marathon I have run, I have then let all that training go to waste and had to start from scratch again.  I kid you not.  After EVERY SINGLE ONE, I have thought those thoughts and then not followed through.

  But this time feels different.  The base layer, that ability to get right back into the groove and have it feel good to be exercising again--kaput!  Disappeared.  Not making any kind of appearance.  It's just me and my very distraught lungs and my wildly racing heart.  And my profusely sweating brow.  And my slightly wounded pride.

  It's as if my body is older.  Oh, wait....

  Okay, so there's a realization I need to fully confront.  My body is, apparently, not as forgiving as it once was.  It's a little easier to gain a pound.  It's a little harder to lose one. It's going to take more to accomplish less.  Good times, people, good times.

  But, and I am writing this down and publishing it so that it's out there and I cannot deny it, I will get back in shape.  I am determined to follow my new workout routine, eat (more) properly, and generally get my body back to feeling, at the very least, 46 years old instead of any number higher than that.

  I've got my iPod all charged up and I'm ready to go do my cardio run tomorrow. Hopefully, I will not be blogging in the middle of that run.