I'm sorry. I really am. I don't know what I was thinking. That's no excuse. I understand. I should have known better. I showed poor judgment, and I will bear the burden of that, willingly.
I know it's just too easy to say we just didn't think there was anything wrong with it. But we didn't. That's the honest truth. We were kids. And again, I know people say that. And usually that's just a convenient attempt at trying to evade responsibility. But in this case, it's not that. We really were kids. We didn't know any better. I mean it. You have to believe me.
Everyone was doing it. Again, I know that doesn't excuse it. But it's true. Our parents even encouraged us to do it. They didn't know any better, either. It was perfectly acceptable. Not only that, we saw it on TV, so it seemed ok. There were even halloween costumes. I'm not kidding. That's how socially acceptable it was. Kids marched in school halloween parades, having no idea that their outfits would someday derail their careers.
There may even be a picture out there, of me, in costume. Oh, who am I kidding. There is a picture. A grainy polaroid. Or an orange-tinged Kodak print with the rounded corners. Probably blurry. It would be hard to make out our faces. But I'll just admit right now. It could be me. It's probably me in that photo. I'm not sure which one I was. I could have been either, and at one time or another I was probably both.
I'm a good person. I really am. I hope that this embarrassing revelation doesn't make me seem all of the sudden uncaring, unkind, or thoughtless.
I hope that me getting out ahead of this, instead of waiting for it to be "discovered" in the search for truth, helps underscore that I am not trying to hide from this. I am not running away from my past indiscretions. I admit them. I hope I am a different person now, that I have grown.
But I cannot deny. It was fun, when I was five, playing "Cowboys and Indians".
Please forgive me.
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