"Hello?"
"Hello, is Kimberley there?"
"This is she." (That's what I said, but in my head I was thinking oh shit, what organization is going to ask me for my money today...)
"Hi Kimberley. I don't want to take up too much of your time, but I wanted to let you know that in the upcoming election for DA, the Police Association supports Ann Marie Schubert. Can we count on your vote for Ann Marie?" Right to the point! Nice!
Okay, now there's a couple of ways to go here.
I could just hang up. But I never do that. It's rude. (Although if I try to get a few words in and the person on the other end just will NOT let me speak, then I will hang up. Because then THEY are being rude, not me.)
I could simply respond in the way that will most expediently and politely get me off the phone and say, "Why yes, you absolutely can count on my vote!" and be done with it. But again, I never do that (unless it's true) because I don't want to lie (plus, if you say yes right away I'm pretty sure they will switch gears and ask you for a donation to the campaign).
What I did do was to answer honestly.
"Well, I'm actually one of those people who like to research the candidates, especially in a race as important as DA in times like these. It seems to me that Ms. Schubert has done a decent job so far, but I know there is a man challenging her and running slightly to her left, so I'd like to look into why he's running and the changes he thinks are needed before I commit my vote." This is the point when the conversation can easily go south, when the person on the other end of the line starts talking at you, instead of to you.
"Ma'am, I completely understand that. And I appreciate that you are taking the time to do that." OK, very nice. I like being appreciated.
"Thank you, and I appreciate knowing that the police are supporting Ms. Schubert. I will tuck that piece of information away and consider it as I make my decision." Returned the appreciation, did not relinquish my vote, and kept a smile in my voice. The lady on the other end sounds quite nice, actually.
"Ma'am, thank you so much for your time today. Please consider that Assemblyman Jim Cooper and all five Sacramento County Supervisors also support Ms. Schubert, along with the Deputy Sheriff's Association." More information for me to use as I begin my due diligence. And most impressively, she hasn't badgered me at all. She has not bashed the opposing candidate. She hasn't pushed me. She hasn't asked for money.
"Thank you. I definitely will take that into consideration. And thanks so much for taking your time to do this and be part of the process. I appreciate what you do." We're both going to gag on mutual appreciation at any moment.
"Thank you. And you have a great weekend, ma'am. Thank you for listening."
And really, that's all I did was listen. That's not hard to do when the speaker is being respectful.
"Thanks so much, and you have a great weekend, too."
And that was that.
Saturday, April 21, 2018
Flat Out Racism
I'll have a venti half-shot low-fat decaf almond milk latte, no whip. And please hold the racism.
I said please, so I'm sure everything will be fine.
I'm following the story of the two young men who were taken into custody in a Philadelphia Starbucks earlier this week.
In case you missed it, two twenty-three year old black men arrived at their local Starbucks to meet a friend for a business meeting. One of them asked the woman at the register if he could use the restroom. She informed him that bathrooms were for paying customers only. He did not protest or ask again. He simply sat down with his friend to wait for their business associate to arrive.
The barista came over to ask them if they wanted water or drinks. They politely declined. The barista called the police.
WTF? The barista called the police?
I've been to Starbucks and sat for twenty minutes without ordering anything. Never been arrested. And no barista has EVER come out from behind the counter and come to my table to ask me if I wanted to order anything. It's a Starbucks. You order at the counter.
Why did this barista (I really hate that word) feel the need to call police to come get two well-behaved young men sitting quietly at their table?
If you say anything except racism you're living in denial. It wasn't "unconscious bias". That's giving someone an excuse for something that is inexcusable. Even Starbucks executive chairman, Howard Schultz, knows why his employee called the police. "There's no doubt in my mind that the reason that police were called was because they were African American."
I'm not really sure where I'm going with any of this. I certainly don't have a solution to the problem of racism. Nobel Prize to me if I did. I do, however, very much appreciate that Starbucks is not taking this lightly. They are closing all of their stores for an afternoon to do training to make sure this doesn't happen again.
It will happen again. But maybe not at Starbucks, and that's a start. And to those who think that Starbucks is only doing the training "for their corporate image" and that their actions really don't mean anything, I would ask has any other company or organization ever done anything like this in the wake of racist accusations? I can't think of any. And also, have you ever heard a company CEO or COO say anything like this: "Our practices and training led to the bad outcome." That's a quote from Kevin Johnson, the company's chief executive. That's putting it on the line. That is the opposite of passing the buck (note to Trump: You see? Taking responsibility for your actions CAN be done!).
I know that one of the most frequent responses to crisis these days is to boycott, or to disengage from a company. In the wake of the Parkland shootings, I discontinued my account on TripAdvisor (and several other companies) because of their association with the NRA. I get the tactic. It works. After a few days these companies discontinued their association with the NRA (there were probably a few other people who stopped using these companies, but in my mind it was MY politely-worded email and withdrawal that tipped the scales).
But I am not going to boycott Starbucks. Because Starbucks DID something. They did something IMMEDIATELY. They did not hem and haw and try to run from it. They clearly identified the problem and their part in perpetuating the problem. They took responsibility and arranged a first step in ensuring that this doesn't happen again in their establishments.
So Starbucks will not be receiving a polite email from me telling them that they no longer have my business (not that this would have scared them considering the number of times I actually frequent Starbucks). Instead they will be receiving a polite email congratulating them on owning up to a problem that is pervasive, and that maybe we all might be complicit in even though we might not want to admit it.
You have my business, Starbucks, and my admiration for setting an example in what it looks like to own up to being part of a problem.
I said please, so I'm sure everything will be fine.
I'm following the story of the two young men who were taken into custody in a Philadelphia Starbucks earlier this week.
In case you missed it, two twenty-three year old black men arrived at their local Starbucks to meet a friend for a business meeting. One of them asked the woman at the register if he could use the restroom. She informed him that bathrooms were for paying customers only. He did not protest or ask again. He simply sat down with his friend to wait for their business associate to arrive.
The barista came over to ask them if they wanted water or drinks. They politely declined. The barista called the police.
WTF? The barista called the police?
I've been to Starbucks and sat for twenty minutes without ordering anything. Never been arrested. And no barista has EVER come out from behind the counter and come to my table to ask me if I wanted to order anything. It's a Starbucks. You order at the counter.
Why did this barista (I really hate that word) feel the need to call police to come get two well-behaved young men sitting quietly at their table?
If you say anything except racism you're living in denial. It wasn't "unconscious bias". That's giving someone an excuse for something that is inexcusable. Even Starbucks executive chairman, Howard Schultz, knows why his employee called the police. "There's no doubt in my mind that the reason that police were called was because they were African American."
I'm not really sure where I'm going with any of this. I certainly don't have a solution to the problem of racism. Nobel Prize to me if I did. I do, however, very much appreciate that Starbucks is not taking this lightly. They are closing all of their stores for an afternoon to do training to make sure this doesn't happen again.
It will happen again. But maybe not at Starbucks, and that's a start. And to those who think that Starbucks is only doing the training "for their corporate image" and that their actions really don't mean anything, I would ask has any other company or organization ever done anything like this in the wake of racist accusations? I can't think of any. And also, have you ever heard a company CEO or COO say anything like this: "Our practices and training led to the bad outcome." That's a quote from Kevin Johnson, the company's chief executive. That's putting it on the line. That is the opposite of passing the buck (note to Trump: You see? Taking responsibility for your actions CAN be done!).
I know that one of the most frequent responses to crisis these days is to boycott, or to disengage from a company. In the wake of the Parkland shootings, I discontinued my account on TripAdvisor (and several other companies) because of their association with the NRA. I get the tactic. It works. After a few days these companies discontinued their association with the NRA (there were probably a few other people who stopped using these companies, but in my mind it was MY politely-worded email and withdrawal that tipped the scales).
But I am not going to boycott Starbucks. Because Starbucks DID something. They did something IMMEDIATELY. They did not hem and haw and try to run from it. They clearly identified the problem and their part in perpetuating the problem. They took responsibility and arranged a first step in ensuring that this doesn't happen again in their establishments.
So Starbucks will not be receiving a polite email from me telling them that they no longer have my business (not that this would have scared them considering the number of times I actually frequent Starbucks). Instead they will be receiving a polite email congratulating them on owning up to a problem that is pervasive, and that maybe we all might be complicit in even though we might not want to admit it.
You have my business, Starbucks, and my admiration for setting an example in what it looks like to own up to being part of a problem.
Thursday, April 12, 2018
The C Word
Not that one. No one should EVER use that one.
The C Word I'm talking about is the one that used to be employed by well-intentioned people everywhere to signal that in order to get something they wanted, they were willing to give up something in exchange.
How did compromise come to be a dirty word?
George Washington warned against a two party system in his farewell address, but since his cautions were promptly ignored, our congressional representatives in the House and the Senate have been perfecting the art of the give-and-take for over 250 years. In this great nation of ours, it has been the norm that 535 grown men (with perhaps a statistically irrelevant number of women here and there) would discuss, argue, cajole, persuade, and yes, compromise in order to get the job of running the nation done.
No more. The "art of the deal" is dead. The idea that no one gets everything but everyone gets something has been replaced by the notion that no one gets anything they want but everyone gets a little bit of what no one wants.
So we have an omnibus bill, signed sealed and delivered, that increases the national debt, increases military spending, does nothing regarding DACA and does not contribute to building a border wall.
Is there an opposite of zero-sum game?
What happened to one side saying they refuse to contribute to the increase in the national debt, the other side saying fine but we have to raise taxes in order to increase military spending, the first side saying no we're not raising taxes we have to cut some existing programs, the other side saying fine but not entitlement programs designed to aid the low-income families, etc... ?
We need the back and forth, the give and take.
Is either side even listening to one another anymore, or is everyone involved just playing Follow the Leader? Demeaning nicknames, pointless criticism and dismissal of facts all fit neatly into 144 characters. Thoughtful solutions to difficult problems require more than an opposable thumb.
"Grass Roots" seems to be a current buzzword. The idea that things come from the ground up instead of the top down has taken hold in this nation. What if we apply that approach with the intent of reinstating compromise as a welcome tool with which to solve problems?
I imagine moms and dads teaching their kids what it means to compromise at a young age, kindergarten maybe? It's not a difficult concept. It's easily demonstrated. Grade schoolers would comprehend this idea.
So kids grow up understanding and employing compromise as part of their skillset.
These kids grow into young adults, who expand their use of compromise into more complex situations.
And before you know it (ok, a generation from now) we have members of our government at all levels not just solving problems, but talking WITH one another and not just AT each other. Maybe the "us vs. them" is replaced by "we're all in this together."
It's the pollyanna in me. I realize this is far too simplistic a solution to a deeply entrenched and exceedingly convoluted problem. But why not try? Who is going to argue against teaching our children the art of compromise?
We have to start somewhere.
The C Word I'm talking about is the one that used to be employed by well-intentioned people everywhere to signal that in order to get something they wanted, they were willing to give up something in exchange.
How did compromise come to be a dirty word?
George Washington warned against a two party system in his farewell address, but since his cautions were promptly ignored, our congressional representatives in the House and the Senate have been perfecting the art of the give-and-take for over 250 years. In this great nation of ours, it has been the norm that 535 grown men (with perhaps a statistically irrelevant number of women here and there) would discuss, argue, cajole, persuade, and yes, compromise in order to get the job of running the nation done.
No more. The "art of the deal" is dead. The idea that no one gets everything but everyone gets something has been replaced by the notion that no one gets anything they want but everyone gets a little bit of what no one wants.
So we have an omnibus bill, signed sealed and delivered, that increases the national debt, increases military spending, does nothing regarding DACA and does not contribute to building a border wall.
Is there an opposite of zero-sum game?
What happened to one side saying they refuse to contribute to the increase in the national debt, the other side saying fine but we have to raise taxes in order to increase military spending, the first side saying no we're not raising taxes we have to cut some existing programs, the other side saying fine but not entitlement programs designed to aid the low-income families, etc... ?
We need the back and forth, the give and take.
Is either side even listening to one another anymore, or is everyone involved just playing Follow the Leader? Demeaning nicknames, pointless criticism and dismissal of facts all fit neatly into 144 characters. Thoughtful solutions to difficult problems require more than an opposable thumb.
"Grass Roots" seems to be a current buzzword. The idea that things come from the ground up instead of the top down has taken hold in this nation. What if we apply that approach with the intent of reinstating compromise as a welcome tool with which to solve problems?
I imagine moms and dads teaching their kids what it means to compromise at a young age, kindergarten maybe? It's not a difficult concept. It's easily demonstrated. Grade schoolers would comprehend this idea.
So kids grow up understanding and employing compromise as part of their skillset.
These kids grow into young adults, who expand their use of compromise into more complex situations.
And before you know it (ok, a generation from now) we have members of our government at all levels not just solving problems, but talking WITH one another and not just AT each other. Maybe the "us vs. them" is replaced by "we're all in this together."
It's the pollyanna in me. I realize this is far too simplistic a solution to a deeply entrenched and exceedingly convoluted problem. But why not try? Who is going to argue against teaching our children the art of compromise?
We have to start somewhere.
Thursday, April 5, 2018
Tales from the Trip: London/Paris (Fish (head) n'Chips)
Five years ago we took the kids to London and Paris. I was not writing a blog back then so I didn't chronicle our adventures. I wish I had. There were many. I know as time moves on it gently erases the details of what I thought would be indelible memories. So in the interest of preserving some great stories that deserve to be archived because they are part of Traversi family lore, here is the first of what will likely be many "Tales from the Trip: London/Paris edition".
Picture the four Traversis wandering somewhat aimlessly about London. It's not that we don't have a destination. We do. We are heading to a pub for our first dinner in London. We are heading to a specific pub, by the way. We're not just out looking for any random dining location.
The thing is, we are afraid to use our cell phones. We got international plans before we left. But does anyone really understand international plans? Data, roaming, wi-fi, LTE... it's like a different language. And we've heard stories of people who get what they think are great international plans only to come home to a whopping bill anyway.
So we're trying to be very prudent with our phone usage. Prudent, in this case, means that we have a place we want to go but we don't want to use navigation tools to get there. Or at least we don't want to use them more than necessary.
We have general directions, but we end up lost. So we cave and turn on "maps" to figure out our next move. Maps confidently leads us into a dark alley in a sketchy part of London. We make it out and eventually to our pub, which turns out to be a rollicking establishment full of young professionals who seem to be cutting loose on a Friday night. We are a family of four. So fitting right in...
And the fun doesn't stop there! We order fish n'chips. Because England.
It turns out that the English version of this dish is ever-so-slightly different than the American one. Theirs should perhaps be called "An Entire Fish n'Chips". Because you get the WHOLE fish, deep fried. The head. The eyes. The fins. The gills. The tail. It's all there for you to enjoy. Yum.
You can only imagine what our reaction is as the dish is served. Picture four people madly looking from one to another to another and then at the waitress and then back at each other... and then hysterical laughter.
And it came with some lovely warm beer. Welcome to England!
I honestly cannot remember how much of that fish got eaten. We are all pretty adventurous eaters, but I think that particular dish may have been our Rubicon (in this scenario we are not Julius Caesar but rather the fraidy-cats who would not cross the river with him).
I don't have any grand ending for this story. I wish we had a picture of the fish but we didn't think to take one, so here is a stock photo that looks pretty much like our dinner. Enjoy!
Picture the four Traversis wandering somewhat aimlessly about London. It's not that we don't have a destination. We do. We are heading to a pub for our first dinner in London. We are heading to a specific pub, by the way. We're not just out looking for any random dining location.
The thing is, we are afraid to use our cell phones. We got international plans before we left. But does anyone really understand international plans? Data, roaming, wi-fi, LTE... it's like a different language. And we've heard stories of people who get what they think are great international plans only to come home to a whopping bill anyway.
So we're trying to be very prudent with our phone usage. Prudent, in this case, means that we have a place we want to go but we don't want to use navigation tools to get there. Or at least we don't want to use them more than necessary.
We have general directions, but we end up lost. So we cave and turn on "maps" to figure out our next move. Maps confidently leads us into a dark alley in a sketchy part of London. We make it out and eventually to our pub, which turns out to be a rollicking establishment full of young professionals who seem to be cutting loose on a Friday night. We are a family of four. So fitting right in...
And the fun doesn't stop there! We order fish n'chips. Because England.
It turns out that the English version of this dish is ever-so-slightly different than the American one. Theirs should perhaps be called "An Entire Fish n'Chips". Because you get the WHOLE fish, deep fried. The head. The eyes. The fins. The gills. The tail. It's all there for you to enjoy. Yum.
You can only imagine what our reaction is as the dish is served. Picture four people madly looking from one to another to another and then at the waitress and then back at each other... and then hysterical laughter.
And it came with some lovely warm beer. Welcome to England!
I honestly cannot remember how much of that fish got eaten. We are all pretty adventurous eaters, but I think that particular dish may have been our Rubicon (in this scenario we are not Julius Caesar but rather the fraidy-cats who would not cross the river with him).
I don't have any grand ending for this story. I wish we had a picture of the fish but we didn't think to take one, so here is a stock photo that looks pretty much like our dinner. Enjoy!
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