Super Dave

The last six months have taught me a lot. Some really, really important stuff. About myself. About my family. About my friends. About life in general.

This post, however, will only address one thing I've learned. It's a big one. It deserves its own post. So here it is...

My husband is a superhero.

That sounds so cliche. But I mean it very sincerely and in every sense of the word. He is superhuman.

In the face of extremely unexpected adversity, for which neither of us were even remotely prepared, at a time when we thought we would be happily sailing our way through retirement adventures, Dave was thrust into a role at age fifty-five that most people don't expect to tackle until they are into their seventies or eighties--caretaker of a spouse.

Not exactly how one anticipates spending time at this point in life.

It has not been an easy job. This has not been an easy situation and I won't even pretend that I'm a good patient. And yet... cross my heart, I have not once heard my husband complain. About anything. And there's been a lot that he could have complained about. Over the past half year, Dave has stepped up with nothing but love and optimism and an attitude toward me getting better as he has...

taken over the grocery shopping
done all the cooking and meal preparing
kept the house clean
done the laundry (and hung it on the line to dry and then folded it and put it away!)
written thank you notes to all our wonderful family and friends who made us meals
continued to do ALL of the yard work
gone to every, single doctor's appointment/scan/chemo
picked up my medication (a guy who will go to the Kaiser pharmacy for you is a saint)
kept track of my medication schedule and reminded me when necessary
given me nightly injections (seriously! he's offered to do my surgery...)
politely stopped well-intentioned friends from telling me their illness stories
gone on morning walks with me to make sure I don't over-exert myself
run out at all times of the day and night to get whatever odd food I'm craving because sometimes  
  there's just nothing that appeals and if something DOES appeal he wants me to eat...
explained and re-explained to me dozens of times exactly why I need to take pills that sometimes I
  am absolutely positive I might not really need to take
held me like he's never going to let me go while I cried because this is all very overwhelming
held this family together, attending to everyone's needs but his own, guiding us through the chaos

And let me repeat... I'm not going to pretend I'm the ideal patient. As stated above, I require repeated explanations as to why I am supposed to do what is good for me. I'm stubborn. I can burst into tears with no warning. I like to pretend sometimes like there's nothing going on and I can do everything as usual. Which of course, there is something going on and I cannot do everything as usual. And luckily Dave is here to hold my hand and tell me he loves me. And keep me from doing ridiculous things.

I know that if the situation was reversed, I would try to be everything for him that he is for me. But I'm not sure that I would be able to do it with the grace and the fortitude that Dave has.

When you think of a superhero, you think of someone who has powers beyond the average human. Someone who is stronger and braver. Someone who can put on a cape and swoop in and save the day.

Dave is all of that. He does all of that. And he doesn't even need a cape.